“Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing.”― Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.

When was the last time you played? I mean, really played with abandon?

I spend a lot of time on playgrounds. As a stay-at-home mom, I sometimes find myself dictatorial and militant with my playground rules.

“No, don’t do that!” “Hey! Be careful!” “Stop running. You’ll fall and break your neck. (or teeth… or poke your eye out)”.

What a party pooper!

When I learned about the importance of play as an avenue for cultivating joy, I decided to loosen up. Yes, I am mother to some fearless kids who give me palpitations with their daring feats on the playground. But, this is what play is about.

Delight. Freedom. Adventure.

I love the squeals of laughter that permeate the playground. I love the explorations, the excavations, the innovations.

I love the new, easy, often temporary friendships that spring up. Hearts opened through play. Shared interests, imaginary quests. I love it.

Somehow, all of this gets lost as we grow up. We get saddled with bills, responsibilities, pressures and expectations. Suddenly, our reputations are at stake. We cannot afford to look uncool. So, we stop playing. We stop acting like we care. We know the pain of being laughed at… Shame.

No one wants to be left out.

Having fun seems irresponsible. A waste of time. We are much too serious for play.

Then we wonder why we have the blues. That internal listlessness is trapped energy waiting to be harnessed through play. Play takes the pressure off. It opens our hearts and minds to access parts of ourselves we have long forgotten or never discovered.

I am learning that play taps into our inner creativity. Since the pressure is off, our minds are free to wander into unexplored territory. New ideas spring forth.

I will never forget the day that changed how I show up at the playground. One day, a woman and her step-daughter came to the playground. The little girl was playing like most kids do – swings, slides, monkey bars. But, her step-mother?

My mouth hung open as she jumped on to the monkeybars, swung back and forth like a trapeze artist, did flips and somersaults and even hung upside down. I was so impressed. I used to do those moves as a kid.

As a kid, I was a tomboy- really rough on the playgound. I was very strong and had boundless energy. I was always pushing the safety limits on the playground. Then, I don’t know what happened. I just stopped playing. And as a parent, I became this overly cautious, highly critical joy-disruptor.

After seeing that woman on the playground, I decided to get re-acquainted with my playful side.

I can now be found on the squealing on the swings, whizzing by on the slides, awkwardly attempting the monkeybars.

The thing is, I have decided to let go of cool. I would rather have fun with my children, really engage with them on the playground or even  play by myself, than sit around caring what people think and wondering whether I am making a fool of myself.

This has been liberating. And it has helped me with other aspects of my life. I find that I am able to be more courageous, more creative and more open to new ideas and people.

I  want to get in this state more often and stay in it longer. This childlike, unassuming, wholehearted freedom to explore, create, laugh with abandon… Really throw myself into experiences without being self-conscious and embarrassed about anything.

We put up armor – the “grow up and be respectable” armor… but we allow our inner spark to die when we do so… The masks we wear threaten to become permanent when we stop cultivating play.

And of course, play doesn’t have to be only taxing physical activity. How about games?

I have to consciously remind myself to have fun. I love board games, group games, card games… And I could go for years without playing. I love playing guitar. Even Legos. Same neglect.

All the things that bring me joy through play, I have had to re-embrace. Sometimes, I forget, and slip back into my old nagging, overly catastrophic-predicting ways. But, I am returning more quickly into the delight of play.

How about you?

It is practice after all… Everything takes time and effort, even something as simple as play!

So, wanna play?

 

Cultivating Joy through Play:

1. When was the last time you played? Really?

2. What do you consider play? What really delights you?

3. How soon can you start playing? Do you need to schedule it? Go ahead.

4. What creative activity makes you lose track of time? Can you create a consistent habit of it?

5. What keeps you from playing? Fear of being uncool? Time constraints?

6. What would you need to overcome this challenge? Support? Ideas? Find it. Google it if you need to.

7. Would you like to play with someone? Whom? Can you call them right now and make a playdate?

 

Life is short. Play enriches our lives in ways we can’t imagine and is critical for our mental, emotional, physical and even spiritual health. You deserve joy.  Creating room for play is one of the most self-compassionate things you can do. See you next week!

 

Yvonne Whitelaw writes for Yvonnewhitelaw.com where she blogs about her quest to grow into her ideals in her “Live Your Ideals Project”. By sharing her lessons along the way (every Monday and Thursday), she hopes to serve and inspire a tribe of wholehearted warriors like you, to “live your ideals, live your calling and change the world.”