“The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.” ― e. e. cummings

 

Joan Rivers died today.

Funny enough, I have been musing about joy lately. Especially with respect to cultivating song, dance and laughter (Brene Brown). So, based on that, I drafted a blog post on cultivating joy focusing on song and dance. I will save that for next week. But I completely forgot about laughter…

Ok, I have a confession…

When it comes to comedy, real side-splitting, crying-tears, uncontained laughter, Joan Rivers has been somewhat of a guilty pleasure of mine.

The woman was funny! Yes, I would cover my face, extremely embarrassed at some of her off-color jokes but I loved her wit. No topic was off-limits or sacred to her.

Nothing.

And sometimes, as a God-fearing woman, I would have to turn of f the TV when things got a little too risque.

Still I loved her. She was one of the few comedians I loved unabashedly. I understood her. I didn’t agree with her most of the time. But I got her sense of humor. She always generated loud guffaws from me. Very witty!

I always thought her humor came to her easily. I thought she was just naturally talented and the jokes just fell out of her.

Until I saw her documentary. “Joan Rivers: Piece of Work” was a revelation.

There was a scene that I have never forgotten. It actually changed me. She shared that she writes jokes every single day. And showed a vault, a filing cabinet of thousands of index cards of jokes that she has written throughout her 50 years of comedy.

She was always working. Always writing. Always thinking.

That really stayed with me.

Joy is defined as “delight, happiness, the feeling of great pleasure.” (M-W Dictionary, Google)

On the surface, it sounds ethereal, like a feeling that just bubbles to surface. And it does, sometimes. My natural set point joy is high. I am a naturally bubbly,  happy and  optimistic person.

But.

I have learned that I sometimes have to work at it.

I have to stay positive. I cultivate joy by doing the things I love and with the people I love such as laughing, dancing, playing guitar, playing with my kids, spending time with my husband, serving others, listening to children singing, writing in my gratitude journal.

By the way, Gratitude is the quickest way to tap into joy. According to Brene Brown, when we acknowledge and identify the things we are grateful for, we become joyful.

It is true. I have kept a daily gratitude journal for several years and I have noticed the same effect. Gratitude changes your perspective and realigns your focus on the things that are going well in your life.

So, Joy is intentional. Joy is a choice. And Joy requires practice and cultivation.

Joan Rivers survived many challenges and tragedies. She used her comedy to transcend them. Her husband committed suicide. She was a pioneer female in the male-dominated comedic world. She was banned from late night. And so on.

She used these obstacles as fodder for her comedic work. Sometimes, she was controversial, raw, and irreverent. But she did the work. She always showed up and never turned down a gig. She did the work to the very end.

I am intentional about joy nowadays. When I don’t make the time to cultivate joy, I find that I become crabby and short-tempered. The negativity seeps in and I am not so fun to be around.

So, I put myself on time-out. I take the time to reset, get centered and get back to the things that really matter to me. And I remind myself that it is all about the work. Creating the time and space for joy, and showing up for it.

So, today, I am really grateful for the laughs Joan Rivers has given me. I see them as gifts now and I cherish them. I am grateful for the lesson she has taught me with her incredible work ethic.

It is true. You have to do the work for laughs. Even if you are Joan Rivers. R.I.P Funny Fashionista!

Cultivating Joy: Laughter
1. What makes you laugh?
2. When was the last time you really laughed out loudly?
3. Do you have a consistent practice for cultivating joy? What do you do?
4. What are you grateful for? Do you have a gratitude practice?
5. What small step can you take towards joy right now?
6. What friend or family member can you enlist in a joy ride?
7. Can you smile, right now? Do it. 🙂

Take action. Joy is a deliberate practice. And as with everything, gets better with time. Show up and do the work.  Then leave your comments below.  If you enjoyed this post, share it! See you next time!
Yvonne Whitelaw writes for Yvonnewhitelaw.com where she blogs about her quest to grow into her ideals in her “Live Your Ideals Project”. By sharing her lessons along the way (every Monday and Thursday), she hopes to serve and inspire a tribe of wholehearted warriors like you, to “live your ideals, live your calling and change the world.”