“Integrity is a personal choice, an uncompromising and predictably consistent commitment to honour moral, ethical, spiritual and artistic values and principles.” – Barbara Killinger

It takes courage to be honest.

It takes courage to be honest about who you are, where you have been and where you are going.

It takes even more courage to be honest about where you want to go and who you want to be.

Practicing integrity is a personal choice. You make this choice daily, moment to moment… constantly self-checking to make sure you are aligned with your values and principles…

This blog rose out of my desire to live aligned with my ideals. Not in a perfectionistic, all or nothing way… But as a commitment to practice, grow, cultivate the ideals that are most meaningful to me.

Making this commitment was not easy.

In fact, it came at a huge price.

Many people appear to know what is best for you, what you should do with your life. And if you are a recovering people-pleaser, like I am, this can be overwhelming.

Add the self-imposed expectations which are difficult to parse from those of your upbringing. Is this really my dream or someone else’s?

Add being an immigrant from a paternalistic culture that tells you who you should be and what you should do, especially as a woman. Then moving to a country where being of color implies inferiority and being in a box. You got it. Confusion, stress, frustration and the risk of living a life with undeveloped potential and buried dreams.

So what do you do?

Do you take the easy and popular road knowing you are completely misaligned with your values and principles but hey, you are making a lot of money in a respectable and stable job and all your bills are paid, you have the latest gadgets and toys… but you are up all night with that gnawing sensation that you are missing something really important?

Or do you take that difficult, lonely and isolated road that lines up with your ideals, principles and values but you feel at peace and grateful, yes broke for now, scared and a little nervous about failing but you still feel at the right place at the right time?

You look on Facebook and everyone seems to be living blindingly glamorous lives, taking the best vacations, Pinterest- and Instagram-perfect lives.

So…

Am I wasting my life?

Do I deserve the luxury of living aligned with my ideals and values?

Does the gift of living your dreams belong only to the skinny, adventurous, well-connected, blue-blooded, fit, young, smart, gorgeous, aspirational charismatic Type A’s of a certain skin tone?

These are questions I have wrestled with.

The truth is, I am a child of God. God Loves me. God has a purpose for my life. I don’t look like those people I admire and that is ok. My story is matters because I matter.

Same goes for you, my friend.

“Nothing happens until the pain of staying the same outweighs the pain of change. ” – Arthur Burt

Yes, I have lost a few dreams. But those were dreams dreamed by a girl who had a limited view of her life. A girl who envisioned a life roaming the earth alone as a missionary doctor.

I am beyond grateful this dream did not come true. It has been difficult but My life is much richer than the one that girl envisioned. Yes, I am on a different path from my medical peers. But this is my path. I know my strengths and what energizes me.

I know that God has plans for my life. I am committed to living a life aligned with my ideals. I catch glimpses of my future and it excites me.

Long story short… I am blessed.

Yes, the price of living in integrity have been ridiculously high but I have to live my truth. I have to live in integrity.
And so far, the rewards (joy, peace, fulfillment, connection to name a few) have been incredible and I know there will be even much more.

In all I do, I get to bring the doctor, the musician, the writer, the theologian, the traveler, the strategic coach, the joyful dancer, the connector, and the humanitarian to the table, serve and live my truth. I know that the rewards have been worth it.
To God be all the glory.

 

Practicing Integrity:
1. What part of Barbara Killinger’s definition of integrity resonates with you?
2. In what ways do you need to take the road less traveled?
3. What is holding you back from living aligned with your values?
4. What do you really want? Are you living the life you want to live?
5. Complete this sentence “If I really had the courage, I would_____”
6. What small change do you need to make to  live in integrity  today?
7. You are not alone. With whom can you partner for accountability?

You have the courage you need to live your ideals. Integrity is a choice. You have what it takes to live it. It takes commitment – Just show up and do your best! I believe in you. See you next time!

Yvonne Whitelaw writes for Yvonnewhitelaw.com where she blogs about her quest to grow into her ideals in her “Live Your Ideals Project”. By sharing her lessons along the way, she hopes you will be inspired to live your ideals and ultimately live your calling.