Dignity – The state or quality of being worthy of honor or respect.¹
To signify that a being has an innate right to be valued and receive ethical treatment.²

I am part of the Wholehearted Revolution and a huge fan of Brene Brown, whose groundbreaking work has greatly transformed my life.

In her recent Gifts of Imperfection ecourse (based on the book), she said something that was both simple and profound – “Your story matters because you matter.”

Yes, You.

I am not sure why that struck me so deeply – I had heard similar sentiments before…

“Yvonne, you have an amazing life story. Share it.” Oh you should write a book!” “Why don’t start a blog?” “You belong on TV.” “OMG, You’re a mini-Oprah!” “Ok, Black Joyce Meyer!”

You get the picture. People have no filters when talking to me… I digress…

I didn’t understand why it was necessary for me to share my story. There were enough writers, bloggers, personalities out there. Yes, I do have an amazing life story and I am only here by God’s grace. But well-intentioned as my encouragers were, they were missing something. And I was missing it too.

Your story matters because YOU matter.
My story matters because I matter.

Several months ago, I received repeated requests to share my story from some people I love. It felt like a one-sided relationship and I felt like afterthought. As a member of a group in which I felt no one cared, I didn’t feel the urge to jump out and bare my heart. I felt hesitant, even strange about sharing my story with people whom I felt wouldn’t even acknowledge I existed. But since I didn’t fully understand what was going on, I never tried to articulate what I was feeling. I just brushed the feelings aside and guarded my heart.

But my focus was wrong. My feelings were valid, yes. But whether I tell my story or not does not depend on how I feel others are treating me. It does not depend on whether others care about me.

It wasn’t until I heard Brene Brown that I understood and had the right words.

My story matters because I matter. Not because I feel my story is not interesting, or that others don’t care to hear it or whatever excuse I drum up for myself. I exist. Therefore I matter. And my story matters.

You matter. You are worthy of honor and respect. You have an innate right to be valued.

So, no matter what happens – whether you are ignored, insulted, gossiped about, humiliated… Your inherent value is not diminished. You are a masterpiece. You are worthy of honor and respect.

You have a right to exist.

Your story matters.

When you allow others to make you feel small, remember that this is YOUR feeling. It doesn’t change who you are.

Eleanor Roosevelt says “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

So take back that consent form. Take back that permission slip that allows others to make you feel small. Stand tall, take a deep breath and embody your highest, best and truest self.

Today, my 6 year old daughter was harrassed at a playground. At bedtime, we talked about it awhile.

I repeated the illustration I usually use to reinforce her self confidence.

“If you are holding a $20 bill and someone comes and snorts “Hmpf, that’s a worthless penny!” What would you do? If s/he repeats that over and over again, does it change the bill’s value? Would you stay and argue with them?”

My daughter always laughs at how ridiculous this story is and it always makes her feel better. But today, I really had to meditate on this.

I am not a victim and neither are you. We can choose whether to allow the negative states of others to influence us or to use our own positive states to influence our own narratives and others.

We don’t have to blame anyone. Everyone is doing the best they can with what they have and their best doesn’t necessarily mean my best. So, we move on.

As the saying goes… “Man’s rejection is God’s protection.”

You are a child of God. A masterpiece. You are worthy of love and respect. You are valuable.

And as the Wholehearted revolution says ” I am imperfect. And I am enough.”

Practicing Dignity
This week, let’s practice taking a deep breath and reaching for our highest selves no matter what situations we find ourselves in.

Questions to ponder:
What story are you telling yourself about a current situation?
Are you really being rejected or are you FEELING rejected?
Is what you are believing about this situation all in your head? Can you confirm it?
Can you create a new story? Can you replace or erase the old story?

And…
How can you embrace and affirm your inherent worth and value? How are you playing small? Who are you listening to? Whom are you surrounded by?

You don’t have to prove your worth to anyone. You matter.
You are a giant. Stand tall.Walk away if you need to. Embrace and embody your dignity.

Share what you are learning in the comments section. See you next time!

1. Google
2. Wikipedia

Yvonne Whitelaw writes for Yvonnewhitelaw.com where she blogs about her quest to grow into her ideals in her “Live Your Ideals Project”. By sharing her lessons along the way, she hopes you will be inspired to live your ideals and ultimately live your calling.