You are angry.

Covid numbers are rising again. We were supposed to be home-free by now with everything reopening, back to normal and finally taking that vacation or that trip to see family you responsibly postponed during the pandemic.

You can feel the heat rising on your face, the catch in your throat and the tightness in your chest as you read the numbers of the latest Delta surge. You did everything you were supposed to do. You got vaccinated. You worked overtime to keep your patients and loved ones safe. And now you feel frustrated because it feels like you are back at square one. Changing your clothes in the basement, avoiding your family, not hugging your kids when you get home from work because you are afraid of making them sick. Spending the day taking care of unvaccinated patients who dismiss your qualifications, accuse you of making money for the government and spout other conspiracy theories in your face.

It all feels futile. Hopeless. A cluster____!

Staff shortages. Lack of Admin support. Even more expectations of productivity. Friends are quitting left and right. Suicides. Breakthrough cases. Preventable deaths.

You feel conflicted about your values – ever mindful of your commitment to your Hippocratic Oath but feeling with increasing conviction that you cannot continue to risk your life to care for patients who are sick because they refused to wear masks or get vaccinated. Or wrestling with the moral injury of having to say “too late” to patients on their deathbeds who now want the vaccine.

You are not alone.
Your anger is valid.
I see you and I hear you.

For many of us heart-centered, compassionate, positive, mindful, mission-driven do-gooders, anger is a difficult emotion to rumble with or even acknowledge. Many of us try to hide, mask or just pretend everything is ok but underneath, we are seething.

“Leaders must either invest a reasonable amount of time attending to fears and feelings or squander an unreasonable amount of time trying to manage ineffective and unproductive behavior.” – Brene Brown from Dare To Lead

(I am a naturally bubbly, smiley person – to share a pic of me not smiling is challenging but necessary- We need to overcome the society’s expectations for us to just grin and bear it. Enough with the emotional bypassing and toxic positivity. “Just pick another thought” is not enough. Same with facing our anger!).

So, how do you deal with the anger? How do you deal with questions that haunt you like “Can I refuse to see patients who refuse to wear masks or vaccinated? ”How can you continue to show up as the wholehearted, compassionate leader you are instead of armoring up for self protection.
How do you deal with masked anger which shows up as cynicism and sarcasm? How do you deal with the mounting grief, regret, frustration, fear, sadness, despair, pain and other emotions underneath that anger?

As a Personal and Executive coach and facilitator for physicians and other helping leaders, I am witnessing unprecedented rage and anger during this Delta surge. This Thursday, August 26th at 5:30 Pacific Time, I will be teaching “RUMBLING WITH ANGER”. Come and learn about how to rumble (face the hard emotions, have the hard conversations) with the anger during the pandemic. Using the principles from Dare To Lead by Brene Brown and a few tips from The Dance of Anger by Hariett Lerner and Healing Rage by Ruth King,You will learn how:

Anger is a secondary emotion, an iceberg And how to get to the emotions underneath. Cynicism and sarcasm often masks for it.

Anger is a powerful emotion often ignited by injustice and how to use it as a catalyst for compassion, change, love, justice and courage.

Holding on to Anger without tapping into its power to transform can make us sick, exhausted or crush our spirit

Anger reflects on our boundaries, values, expectations and needs and how to make sure we are in alignment, expressing, meeting and enforcing them. You will also learn how to check the stories you are making up, how you are offloading your anger, and how to keep it from affecting your work and home life.

If you can’t attend but want to learn more about my 12 week virtual Dare To Lead workshop , you can see the link http://yvonneator.com/dtlvirtualwkspsept2021. Throughout the pandemic, I have facilitated Dare to Lead for hospitals, residency programs, schools and non-profits, serving physicians, teachers, dentists, vets and so on equipping them with the tools and resources to rumble with difficult emotions including anger and vulnerability, living into our values, rising strong failures, setbacks and disappointments, how to take off the armor and put on grounded confidence and how to create and build trust in the workplace. The transformation of the individuals and workplace cultures from armored leadership (leading from self-protection) to daring leadership (leading from grounded confidence and values) has been incredibly powerful especially in the context of this pandemic. Come join us! See links in comments below to Sign up for the Mindful Healthcare Collective session RUMBLING WITH ANGER, Dare To Lead workshop or DM me for more information. Have a great week and see you soon!