Monthly Archives: January 2018

Cultivating Vulnerability- Superhero Complexes, Burning Capes and Asking for What You Need

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(Repost from Thriving Physicians Facebook group)

Today, continuing the Permission slips deep-dive, take the previous exercise a step further. Go back to the list of needs you made two days ago. If you haven’t made your list, it isn’t too late click on #3 of the #PermissionSlips posts and work through it. Now that you have your list of what you need to show up fully, authentically and powerfully this year, let’s go further.

Find a quiet spot (it might be the bathroom for those with young kids!) and be still for a few minutes. Now look at your list and put an asterisk next to those needs you will need to ask for. I know that as physicians, we see ourselves as superheroes who have to do everything and don’t feel comfortable asking for help. In fact many of us are so frazzled and overwhelmed that it doesn’t even occur to us to ask for help.

Today, I invite you to “Burn your cape!” This superhero complex is killing us. We are lonely, isolated, overworked, overwhelmed and exhausted. It is time to give yourself permission to ask for help. According to Brene Brown’s research, Being vulnerable is not weak, we can’t opt out of vulnerability, vulnerability is not oversharing and we cannot go it alone.

Vulnerability is actually courage and strength – not weakness. And if you have worked with me or read my earlier posts from last year, you have heard me talk about the components of courage.
Asking for what you need, reaching out for support, speaking your truth, owning your story and setting boundaries are the 5 tenets of courage.

What is keeping you from asking you for what you need? Do a permission slip exercise. Give yourself permission to ask for what you want – write as many permissions as possible. Then, go, ask!

You are worthy of the time, space, energy and even money needed for you to unfold into all that you are!

Sending you so much love, positivity and light!

Cultivating Ease – Resilience, Simplicity and Permission To Enjoy Yourself

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Today, I witnessed a powerful breakthrough as I was coaching a CEO of a trust firm who described herself as overworked, overwhelmed and lonely, I found myself telling her of a quote I had read the other day which hit me straight between the eyes… “What would it look like if it were easy?”
 
See, she had told herself that if she worked more, beat herself harder, she would finally have the life she wanted. Instead, she was frazzled, exhausted, depleted and lonely. I asked her, “what would it look like to nurture yourself, give yourself permission to have fun, go light instead of hard? Simplify, instead of adding more and more tasks? What do you like to do for fun?
 
Her voice immediately changed… she went from heavy to excited, there was laughter in her voice as she talked about how she loved to dance but hadn’t done so for so long… She had thought she had to go to the gym like everyone else but she hated it. She gave herself permission to enjoy movement by doing what was easy and enjoyable. She hadn’t laughed for a long time.
 
That is my invitation to you today… Reflect on these 5 alternatives to the traditional new year’s resolutions and note what resonates with you. You don’t have to do what everyone is doing. Do what works for you. We can do hard things, yes… but as hardworking professionals, the hard thing for us this time would be to do what feels easy.
 
What if it look like for you to have an easy year? Give yourself permission to reflect on this.
 
(As always, if you want to go deeper, coaching is an option. I have a few open spots in my coaching practice. If you resonate with my lens and need support with thriving in 2018, let’s connect.
For more, here is a great article on alternatives to new years resolutions.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201712/5-alternatives-traditional-new-years-resolutions