“Who we are is how we lead.” – Brene Brown

The Pandemic was rough.

But you made it through. The world opened up. Everyone transitioned back to in-person activities at work and in life. The new normal came and went. It was obvious things would never be the same again.

Lots of changes at work. At first everyone was quitting. First the Great Resignation, then “Quiet Quitting”, then “Quiet Termination”.

But now, it’s all a mind-numbingly blah in the midst of chaos.

A learned helplessness – “Darned if you do, darned if you don’t”

A scary place to be when there is so much going on but it feels like there nothing really you can do that feels meaningful. Just along for the ride and doing the best you can.

As a coach with clients across the country, I am seeing a pattern everywhere.

The powers that be, making decisions that feel reactive, shooting off the hip, in ways that feel out of alignment with the values and mission of the organization you have sacrificed so much to serve.

And if feels like there is nothing you can do about it.

It all feels surreal.

So how do you continue to show up and do what matters to you when if feels like it doesn’t quite matter?

One moment, someone is here, and the next moment, positions are cut, programs canned.

In a profession where job security was guaranteed, now it feels like everyone is disposable.

Everyone either feels blah or on edge at work now. Everywhere you look, you see signs of shame at work.

Blame, nostalgia, gossip.

People seem withdrawn and are not sharing as openly at meetings like they used to for fear of losing their jobs. Rumors spread like wildfire. No one seems to know exactly what’s going on.

It feels like the bottom line is the order of the day. Profit over people. Toxic work culture over people.

It feels unfair.

After all the sacrifices for your profession, you feel deserving of respect, security, consideration.

Everyone is expected to carry on as if nothing is happening.

But there are signs of disengagement everywhere, the disengagement that happens when there is a gap between values professed (the values you say you hold dear) and values practiced on the ground.

And then there’s the world, which feels like a dumpster fire. Wars, genocides, political fallouts, neverending crises…

You feel different somehow. Lots to do but you feel so tired, unmotivated yet overwhelmed, overstimulated and have a hard time concentrating.

And yet, you are supposed to operate as usual at work, home, parenting, love… Business as usual, productivity as usual, profit as usual… You as usual?

Not really…

You really wanted to make a difference in the world.

You wanted to help people, make a positive impact, create something meaningful to change the world.

You made deep sacrifices to train and equip yourself for your profession. And you find yourself continuing to make more sacrifices, day in, day out.

Overwhelm, Overwork, Overgiving…

Everything feels harder, awkward, out of sorts. Out of control. You are working harder and harder but feel scattered, lacking confidence, uncertain and not really feeling in touch with yourself or the world. .

You seek a way out.

Numb, escape, avoid…

You need a break!

So you plan the vacations (revenge travel!), binge on Netflix, self medicate with wine, shopping, food, but deep down you know these are temporary fixes. You will return to the problem after a week or two of vacation. You will be roughly in the same position after the numbing, escaping and avoiding.

You are starting to dread going to work.

You wonder, “how did I get here?” “What would it take for me to thrive at work, enjoy my life, get back to feeling like myself again?” “Why does everything feel so hard? I am smart, I am good at what I do but why is everything taking so long? I feel like I am not 100% – I am feel like I am failing at work and at home even though everything looks fine.”

You sense there is something more for you.

You know you are capable of so much more.

You have more to give, accomplish, discover – but you can’t quite tap into it. On the surface everything looks fine. But you feel like a mess on the inside. You long to take off the mask and armor and really show up as yourself. You long to set boundaries, have those hard conversations, take courageous action, align with your values and cut out the habits that are no longer serving you so that you can focus on what really matters to you. You long to tap into the truest and highest expression of yourself in your work, marriage, parenting, leadership and relationships.

If you find yourself longing for a more courageous, aligned, integrated and authentic life, thriving at work and home, you are in the right place!

I hear you. I see you.

For over a decade, I have been on a mission to help highly skilled mission-driven professionals overcome disillusionment, overwhelm, compassion fatigue and burnout to thrive while making their positive impact in the world.

Personally and professionally, the pandemic was rough for me with reckonings in every arena of my life – parenting, race, faith, identity, work, love.

Steeping even deeper into this work as I taught, coached, facilitated saved me again and again. I was able to show up for myself, children, work and my community when fetal position would have been completely understandable. I am deeply grateful for it!

So, I know, there is a way forward with clarity and purpose.

You will need a strong practice, an evidence-based framework and community to help you give you the skills for leading and living courageously so you can be your most aligned and thriving self at work and home!

I invite you to a more aligned option.

I am offering my 12 week Dare To Lead online workshop starting Tuesdays October 1st- Dec 17th, 2024 at 4:15pm PT, 7:15pm ET. I Invite you to join a group of mission-driven heart-centered leaders and professionals in learning the skills for answering your personal call to courage, the call to show up and live your life fully, the call to brave leadership.

SIGNUP!

You will learn all the skills for brave leadership and courageous cultures at work and home including transitioning from Armored leadership to Daring Leadership, Rising Strong from Failure and Setbacks, Living into Our Values, Braving Trust, Rumbling with Vulnerability.

“Yvonne, I am too tired to take care of myself, much less lead anyone. I am not a leader. Why should I attend your Dare to Lead workshop?”

“A Leader is anyone at ANY level who takes responsibility for finding the potential in people and processes and has the courage to develop that potential.” – Brene Brown

I have run several Dare To Lead Groups for groups of physicians, hospital teams, mixed professional groups, organizations and individuals. I have seen the powerful transformative impact this work has had on individuals and organizations alike.

This is about learning skills that help you do what matters in a way that is aligned, sustainable and meaningful.

I say, dare to show up, serve and lead – Show up for yourself. Show up for those who matter to you – without shame or perfectionism, disillusionment, compassion fatigue, moral injury or burnout.

What if in place of feeling lost, you discovered your compass, your values and learned how to live them?

What if in place of feeling stuck and paralyzed by the setbacks, disappointments and failures, you learned to grieve, learn from the experiences, rise strong from them and thrive?

To find out more, continue reading below for details. To register, click the link below. Here’s to you thriving!

SIGNUP!

A 12 week Online Workshop
Two hour Sessions: Tuesdays 4pm PT, 7pm ET Oct 1st -Dec 17th, 2024

“To be the person who we long to be—we must again be vulnerable. We must take off the armor, put down the weapons, show up, and let ourselves be seen.” – Dr. Brené Brown, Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts

About The Dare To Lead Workshop

Hello!

Thank you for your interest in the Dare To Lead ™ Workshop.

The “Dare to Lead” Workshop is based on the research of Dr. Brené Brown. Dare to Lead™ is an empirically based courage-building leadership program designed to be facilitated only by Certified Dare to Lead organizational development professionals.

The most significant finding from Brené’s latest research is that courage is a collection of four skill sets that are teachable, measurable, and observable.

The Dare to Lead™ program focuses on developing these courage-building skills through workshops, trainings and coaching to help individuals, teams and organizations move from armored leadership to daring leadership.

This 12-week Dare to Lead™ Workshop will help you:

• Be the kind of leader others will want to follow
• Be the kind of partner/parent/friend you want to be
• Get results and be even more effective and productive
• Create a stronger, more effective team
• Tap into your values and lead authentically

Individuals who successfully complete the full 24-hour Dare to Lead program will receive a Dare to Lead Trained certificate and badge that can be posted on their LinkedIn account.

Align with your values and who you really are by digging deep into the principles of wholehearted living featured in Daring Greatly, Rising Strong and the Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown. Dare To Lead is the application of these principles in the workplace and organizational setting. Connect with a growing tribe of wholehearted professionals like you who value authenticity, creativity, compassion, connection, vulnerability, altruism, empathy, embracing imperfection and resilience. Get inspired and equipped to thrive in the life you deeply desire to live.

You and 9 other wholehearted professionals will step out of your autopilot life for 12 weeks of laughter, growth, insight, inspiration, rejuvenation as you explore and realign with your own values, connect and discover new friends and like-minded kindred. You will dig deep into exploratory exercises on creativity, authenticity, rising from failure, Daring Leadership, connection, shame resilience, letting go of perfectionism, mindfulness, to name a few.

Total cost is $2499 and covers workshop, workbooks, certificates and teaching. The recommended cost of Dare To Lead is $2499.

Payment plans available for a fee. 10% of all proceeds go to charitable organizations as well. So by signing up, you partner with me in making a positive impact in the world.

If you are in financial distress but really want to participate in Dare To Lead, please email me at thrivingideals@gmail.com. I have a couple of “Pay What You Can” available and will send you the link.

Early Bird registration, use code IDEALIST before September 22nd for $500 off

You will also receive a “Dare To Lead Trained” badge on LinkedIn. NO REFUNDS. Your fee will be applied to a coaching program or workshop of your choice at equal value.  REGISTRATION ENDS on September 29th.  If you sign up later than September 24th, you might receive your workbook days after the workshops starts so please sign up as soon as you can. Only 10 spots available. . Email thrivingideals@gmail.com if you have any other questions

SIGNUP!

AGENDA

Series of 12 Weekly Gatherings (each session is 2  hours in length)
Sessions: Thursdays, 7:15-9:15pm ET,  4:15 -6:15 pm PT 

Session 1: Introduction – Brave Leaders & Courage Cultures LESSON 1 – The Heart of Daring Leadership
Session 2:  LESSON 2 – Armored Leadership versus Daring Leadership
Session 3:  Brave Leaders & Courage Cultures (cont.); Rumbling with Vulnerability LESSON 3 – Self-Awareness & Emotional Literacy LESSON 4 – The Myths of Vulnerability 
Session 4:Third Meeting: Rumbling with Vulnerability (cont.) LESSON 5 – Shame Resilience 
Session 5:LESSON 6 – Empathy and Self-Compassion LESSON 7 – Armored Leadership to Daring Leadership Circle Back Fourth Meeting: 
Session 6: Living into Our Values LESSON 8– Living Into Our Values LESSON 9– Grounded Confidence and Rumbling Skills    
Session 7: Living into Our Values (cont.) LESSON 10 – Engaged Feedback LESSON 11 – Armored Leadership to Daring Leadership Circle Back
Session 8: BRAVING Trust LESSON 12 – BRAVING Trust LESSON 13 – Armored Leadership to Daring Leadership Circle Back
Session 9:  Learning to Rise LESSON 14 – Learning to Rise: The Reckoning
Session 10: LESSON 15 – The Rumble and The Revolution 
Session 11:  LESSON 16 –  The Revolution (cont’d) and Integration 
Session 12: LESSON 17 – Armored Leadership to Daring Leadership Circle Back LESSON 18 – Closing  

SIGNUP!

Here’s to you cultivating Daring Leadership and inspiring courageous cultures wherever you lead, love and work!

Sincerely,
Yvonne

Yvonne Ator, MD, MPH
Coach, Facilitator & Advocate
Certified Dare To Lead Facilitator
Certified Daring Way Facilitator
Certified Unbeatable Mind Coach
Certified Personal and Executive Coach in Positive Psychology
Founder, Thriving Idealist
Founder, Thriving Physicians
“Grow into your ideals so that life will not rob you of them.” – Dr. Albert Schweitzer

SIGNUP!

DARE TO LEAD TESTIMONIALS

What was going on in your life before working with me? How were you
feeling?

Prior to working with Yvonne life was a struggle to plow through the
pandemic, but at least the kids were returning to in person learning. I
was feeling a sense of languishing and despair from staffing shortages
and a sense that there is no end in sight.

How was your experience during the first session?
The first session feels so long ago! I was nervous to share so openly
with complete strangers, but Yvonne created a container of support and
trust.

How was your experience for the duration of the course? What were the
sessions like?
Each session was better than the last with a growing foundation of
grounded confidence and expanded self-awareness. The sessions really
valued everyone’s unique voice and perspective and it was really great
to be supported by such like-minded strong positive women.

What results or benefits did you gain from the sessions? What were the
results of working with Yvonne? What exists now that didn’t before and
how do you feel about that?

I feel like the course exposed the tip of the iceberg for where this
journey of living BIG can take me. I feel like I have a better sense of
the type of person, leader and mom I want to be. Yvonne was a great
facilitator, which was enhanced along the way with her coaching nuggets
of knowledge and insight. The course would not have been as impactful if
she didn’t take the script to a deeper place that was personal and
specific to each of the members in the group. I had not ever really
thought about how important values are to every decision and action I
take. I want dig deeper into the values work for myself and my team that
I support.

How would you describe Yvonne’s coaching style? What did you enjoy about
the way Yvonne works?
Yvonne’s coaching style is kind, positive, direct. Yvonne has so much
training and coaching knowledge and her laugh is infectious. She makes
you feel very comfortable from day one is not afraid to go deep with
personal vulnerable moments from her own life experiences. This gives
permission for others to share similarly.

What worked for you? What was your biggest aha?
Hearing everyone’s personal stories really connected me to the work. My
biggest aha’s: if I’m feeling burnt out I need to have more
self-compassion for myself; stand in my power but also be aware of the
effect my power has on those that I lead; living BIG!!, awareness of
values and how they guide actions.

Would you recommend a workshop or coaching by Yvonne to others? 
Definitely!!

Anything else you would like to share? I want to continue on this
journey through coaching. I will be reaching out in the future 🙂 Thank
you so much!!
Courtney Anders, DVM
Pearl Animal Hospital



About Your Dare To Lead™ Facilitator 

Speaker, Coach, Author, Facilitator and Advocate.

Yvonne Ator, MD, MPH is deeply passionate about helping helpers thrive. Nicknamed, “Helper For the Helpers, Yvonne has served several mission-driven physicians, veterans and other helping professionals for the past several years.

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.”― Fred Rogers

Fondly called “The Helper For Helpers and Sheepdog for Sheepdogs”, Dr. Yvonne Ator is deeply passionate about serving those who serve and lead. 

As the Founder of Thriving Physicians and Thriving Idealist, she has spent the past several years coaching mission-driven Physicians and other helping professionals who desire to serve and lead sustainably and thrive in their personal and professional lives while making their positive impact in the world without succumbing to disillusionment, moral injury, compassion fatigue or burnout. As a sheepdog for sheepdogs, she equips helpers and leaders struggling with overwhelm, overwork or feeling stuck with tools and resources to master themselves so they can live authentically and serve to their fullest potential. Yvonne is also passionate about creating daring  leadership and courage cultures in the workplace. 

An immigrant born in England, raised in several states in Nigeria and the United States, Yvonne was the quintessential multipassionate idealist who wanted to change the world through medical missions and music. However, after finding herself at a crossroads, overwhelmed and compassion-fatigued as a new mom having to choose between her mental health and burnout in the medical profession she had sacrificed everything for, Yvonne became an avid advocate for physician wellness, courageous service and leadership,  suicide prevention and a more wholehearted culture in the workplace. 

After losing her comatose dad during a physician strike and finding herself homeless, divorced and financially destitute, Yvonne realized the pitfalls of burnout and quitting medicine without a safety net. She now empowers helping professionals to step back from the tunnel of overwhelm and burnout, rediscover their values and strengths with a new lens and mindset to see the options before them and make more aligned and empowered decisions.

In addition to a doctorate of Medicine from the Brody School of Medicine and a Master of Public Health from Johns Hopkins University, she has attained several certifications in resilience, wellness, personal, leadership and organizational development. She is a certified Personal and Executive Coach in positive psychology, Certified Daring Way Facilitator, Certified Dare to Lead Facilitator (Brene Brown’s work) and a certified Unbeatable Mind Coach (Integrated Training in Mental Toughness and Emotional resilience with  Retired Navy SEAL Commander Mark Divine!).  

 A physician, musician, coach, writer, author, speaker, advocate  and serial-quester, Yvonne is tireless in her mission  to empower, equip and inspire those who have sacrificed to serve. She co-created the Veterans Integrated Program with the Courage Foundation to help veterans with post-traumatic stress cultivate the tools and practices to thrive. She has served schools, non-profit organizations, hospital teams and mixed professional groups as a sought-out keynote speaker, executive coach and workshop facilitator on leadership, resilience, work culture and emotional development topics such as Daring Leadership, Rumbling with Vulnerability, Living Our Values and building TRUST, disciplines of the warriors and the big 4 of Mental toughness. 

She has also spent the pandemic hosting Respite sessions for frontline workers to help with stress, overwhelm and burnout. She has internationally published several articles including laughter as medicine, caring for caregivers, mindfulness meditation, grief, crisis intervention, trauma resilience and cultivating values. She serves as a Founding Executive Board Member of the Mindful Healthcare collective. She is a co- author of the book “Thinking About Quitting Medicine?”  and her story is featured in the bestselling personal development books “SPARKED” by Jonathan Fields and “I Quit!” by Coonoor Behal. She has also served as  adjunct professor at  the Cal State University San Marcos Master of Public health program. 

When she isn’t being chased around by her two unbeatable warrior-princesses, she is either playing guitar in bands, meditating, latin dancing, wanderlusting, hosting free virtual Respite sessions for physicians and other Frontline workers during the Pandemic, doing burpees to support Courage Foundation’s mission to help veterans with Post-traumatic stress, dreaming up her next quest or geeking out on values, leadership, antifragility, emotional intelligence, Unbeatable Mind and Oprah! 

SIGNUP!

“Who we are is how we lead.” – Brene Brown

The Pandemic was rough.

But you made it through. The world opened up. Everyone transitioned back to in-person activities at work and in life. The new normal came and went. It was obvious things would never be the same again.

Lots of changes at work. At first everyone was quitting. First the Great Resignation, then “Quiet Quitting.”

But now, something more insidious is happening.

“Quiet Termination.”

As a coach with clients across the country, this is a pattern I am seeing everywhere. The powers that be, making decisions that feel reactive, shooting off the hip, in ways that feel out of alignment with the values and mission of the organization you have sacrificed so much to serve.

It all feels surreal. One moment, someone is here, and the next moment, positions are cut, programs canned.

In a profession where job security was guaranteed, now it feels like everyone is disposable.

Everyone feels on edge at work now. Everywhere you look, you see signs of shame at work.

Blame, nostalgia, gossip.

People seem withdrawn and are not sharing as openly at meetings like they used to for fear of losing their jobs. Rumors spread like wildfire. No one seems to know exactly what’s going on.

It feels like the bottom line is the order of the day. Profit over people.

It feels unfair.

After all the sacrifices for your profession, you feel deserving of respect, security, consideration.

Everyone is expected to carry on as if nothing is happening.

But there are signs of disengagement everywhere, the disengagement that happens when there is a gap between values professed (the values you say you hold dear) and values practiced on the ground.

And then there’s the world, which feels like a dumpster fire. Wars, genocides, political fallouts, the never ending COVID.

You feel different somehow. Lots to do but you feel so tired, unmotivated yet overwhelmed, overstimulated and have a hard time concentrating.

And yet, you are supposed to operate as usual at work, home, parenting, love… Business as usual, productivity as usual, profit as usual… You as usual?

Not really…

You wanted to make a difference in the world.

You wanted to help people, make a positive impact, create something meaningful to change the world.

You made deep sacrifices to train and equip yourself for your profession. And you find yourself continuing to make more sacrifices, day in, day out.

Overwhelm, Overwork, Overgiving…

Everything feels harder, awkward, out of sorts. Out of control. You are working harder and harder but feel scattered, lacking confidence, uncertain and not really feeling in touch with yourself or the world. .

You seek a way out.

Numb, escape, avoid…

You need a break!

So you plan the vacations (revenge travel!), binge on Netflix, self medicate with wine, shopping, food, but deep down you know these are temporary fixes. You will return to the problem after a week or two of vacation. You will be roughly in the same position after the numbing, escaping and avoiding.

You are starting to dread going to work.

You wonder, “how did I get here?” “What would it take for me to thrive at work, enjoy my life, get back to feeling like myself again?” “Why does everything feel so hard? I am smart, I am good at what I do but why is everything taking so long? I feel like I am not 100% – I am feel like I am failing at work and at home even though everything looks fine.”

You sense there is something more for you.

You know you are capable of so much more.

You have more to give, accomplish, discover – but you can’t quite tap into it. On the surface everything looks fine. But you feel like a mess on the inside. You long to take off the mask and armor and really show up as yourself. You long to set boundaries, have those hard conversations, take courageous action, align with your values and cut out the habits that are no longer serving you so that you can focus on what really matters to you. You long to tap into the truest and highest expression of yourself in your work, marriage, parenting, leadership and relationships.

If you find yourself longing for a more courageous, aligned, integrated and authentic life, thriving at work and home, you are in the right place!

I hear you. I see you.

For over a decade, I have been on a mission to help highly skilled mission-driven professionals overcome disillusionment, overwhelm, compassion fatigue and burnout to thrive while making their positive impact in the world.

Personally and professionally, the pandemic was rough for me with reckonings in every arena of my life – parenting, race, faith, identity, work, love.

Steeping even deeper into this work as I taught, coached, facilitated saved me again and again. I was able to show up for myself, children, work and my community when fetal position would have been completely understandable. I am deeply grateful for it!

So, I know, there is a way forward with clarity and purpose.

You will need a strong practice, an evidence-based framework and community to help you give you the skills for leading and living courageously so you can make 2024 your most aligned and thriving year yet!

I invite you to a more aligned option.

I am offering my 12 week Dare To Lead online workshop starting Thursdays Feb 22nd- May 23rd, 2023 at 5:15pm PT, 8:15pm ET. I Invite you to join a group of mission-driven heart-centered leaders and professionals in learning the skills for answering your personal call to courage, the call to show up and live your life fully, the call to brave leadership.

You will learn all the skills for brave leadership and courageous cultures at work and home including transitioning from Armored leadership to Daring Leadership, Rising Strong from Failure and Setbacks, Living into Our Values, Braving Trust, Rumbling with Vulnerability.

“Yvonne, I am too tired to take care of myself, much less lead anyone. I am not a leader. Why should I attend your Dare to Lead workshop?”

“A Leader is anyone at ANY level who takes responsibility for finding the potential in people and processes and has the courage to develop that potential.” – Brene Brown

I have run several Dare To Lead Groups for groups of physicians, hospital teams, mixed professional groups, and individuals. I have seen the powerful transformative impact this work has had on individuals and organizations alike.


This is about learning how to show up as you are.

I say, dare to show up – Show up for yourself. Show up for those you love and serve.

What if in place of feeling lost, you discovered your compass, your values and learned how to live them?

What if in place of feeling stuck and paralyzed by the setbacks, disappointments and failures, you learned to grieve, learn from the experiences, rise strong from them and thrive?

To find out more, continue reading below for details. To register, click the link below. Here’s to you thriving!

SIGNUP!

A 12 week Online Workshop
Two hour Sessions: Thursdays 5:15pm PT, Feb 22nd – May 23rd, 2024 (Off for Spring Break!)

“To be the person who we long to be—we must again be vulnerable. We must take off the armor, put down the weapons, show up, and let ourselves be seen.” – Dr. Brené Brown, Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts

About The Dare To Lead Workshop

Hello!

Thank you for your interest in the Dare To Lead ™ Workshop.

The “Dare to Lead” Workshop is based on the research of Dr. Brené Brown. Dare to Lead™ is an empirically based courage-building leadership program designed to be facilitated only by Certified Dare to Lead organizational development professionals.

The most significant finding from Brené’s latest research is that courage is a collection of four skill sets that are teachable, measurable, and observable.

The Dare to Lead™ program focuses on developing these courage-building skills through workshops, trainings and coaching to help individuals, teams and organizations move from armored leadership to daring leadership.

This 12-week Dare to Lead™ Workshop will help you:

• Be the kind of leader others will want to follow
• Be the kind of partner/parent/friend you want to be
• Get results and be even more effective and productive
• Create a stronger, more effective team
• Tap into your values and lead authentically

Individuals who successfully complete the full 24-hour Dare to Lead program will receive a Dare to Lead Trained certificate and badge that can be posted on their LinkedIn account.

Align with your values and who you really are by digging deep into the principles of wholehearted living featured in Daring Greatly, Rising Strong and the Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown. Dare To Lead is the application of these principles in the workplace and organizational setting. Connect with a growing tribe of wholehearted professionals like you who value authenticity, creativity, compassion, connection, vulnerability, altruism, empathy, embracing imperfection and resilience. Get inspired and equipped to thrive in the life you deeply desire to live.

You and 9 other wholehearted professionals will step out of your autopilot life for 12 weeks of laughter, growth, insight, inspiration, rejuvenation as you explore and realign with your own values, connect and discover new friends and like-minded kindred. You will dig deep into exploratory exercises on creativity, authenticity, rising from failure, Daring Leadership, connection, shame resilience, letting go of perfectionism, mindfulness, to name a few.

Total cost is $2499 and covers workshop, workbooks, certificates and teaching. The recommended cost of Dare To Lead is $2499. Payment plans available for a fee upon request. 10% of all proceeds go to charitable organizations as well. So by signing up, you partner with me in making a positive impact in the world.

Early Bird registration, use code NICA before Dec 22nd for $500 off

Use the code IDEALIST before December 31st for $250 off.

You will also receive a “Dare To Lead Trained” badge on LinkedIn. NO REFUNDS. Your fee will be applied to a coaching program or workshop of your choice at equal value.  REGISTRATION ENDS on January 24th to allow the workbooks to be mailed to you on time.  If you sign up later than February 1st you will receive your workbook days after the start.  Only 10 spots available. . Email thrivingideals@gmail.com if you have any other questions

SIGNUP!

AGENDA

Series of 12 Weekly Gatherings (each session is 2  hours in length)
Sessions: Thursdays, 8:15-10:15pm ET,  5:15 -7:15 pm PT 

Session 1: Introduction – Brave Leaders & Courage Cultures LESSON 1 – The Heart of Daring Leadership
Session 2:  LESSON 2 – Armored Leadership versus Daring Leadership
Session 3:  Brave Leaders & Courage Cultures (cont.); Rumbling with Vulnerability LESSON 3 – Self-Awareness & Emotional Literacy LESSON 4 – The Myths of Vulnerability 
Session 4:Third Meeting: Rumbling with Vulnerability (cont.) LESSON 5 – Shame Resilience 
Session 5:LESSON 6 – Empathy and Self-Compassion LESSON 7 – Armored Leadership to Daring Leadership Circle Back Fourth Meeting: 
Session 6: Living into Our Values LESSON 8– Living Into Our Values LESSON 9– Grounded Confidence and Rumbling Skills    
Session 7: Living into Our Values (cont.) LESSON 10 – Engaged Feedback LESSON 11 – Armored Leadership to Daring Leadership Circle Back
Session 8: BRAVING Trust LESSON 12 – BRAVING Trust LESSON 13 – Armored Leadership to Daring Leadership Circle Back
Session 9:  Learning to Rise LESSON 14 – Learning to Rise: The Reckoning
Session 10: LESSON 15 – The Rumble and The Revolution 
Session 11:  LESSON 16 –  The Revolution (cont’d) and Integration 
Session 12: LESSON 17 – Armored Leadership to Daring Leadership Circle Back LESSON 18 – Closing  

SIGNUP!

Here’s to you cultivating Daring Leadership and inspiring courageous cultures wherever you lead, love and work!

Sincerely,
Yvonne

Yvonne Ator, MD, MPH
Coach, Facilitator & Advocate
Certified Dare To Lead Facilitator
Certified Daring Way Facilitator
Certified Unbeatable Mind Coach
Certified Personal and Executive Coach in Positive Psychology
Founder, Thriving Idealist
Founder, Thriving Physicians
“Grow into your ideals so that life will not rob you of them.” – Dr. Albert Schweitzer

This block contains unexpected or invalid content.

Attempt Block Recovery

SIGNUP!

DARE TO LEAD TESTIMONIALS

What was going on in your life before working with me? How were you
feeling?

Prior to working with Yvonne life was a struggle to plow through the
pandemic, but at least the kids were returning to in person learning. I
was feeling a sense of languishing and despair from staffing shortages
and a sense that there is no end in sight.

How was your experience during the first session?
The first session feels so long ago! I was nervous to share so openly
with complete strangers, but Yvonne created a container of support and
trust.

How was your experience for the duration of the course? What were the
sessions like?
Each session was better than the last with a growing foundation of
grounded confidence and expanded self-awareness. The sessions really
valued everyone’s unique voice and perspective and it was really great
to be supported by such like-minded strong positive women.

What results or benefits did you gain from the sessions? What were the
results of working with Yvonne? What exists now that didn’t before and
how do you feel about that?

I feel like the course exposed the tip of the iceberg for where this
journey of living BIG can take me. I feel like I have a better sense of
the type of person, leader and mom I want to be. Yvonne was a great
facilitator, which was enhanced along the way with her coaching nuggets
of knowledge and insight. The course would not have been as impactful if
she didn’t take the script to a deeper place that was personal and
specific to each of the members in the group. I had not ever really
thought about how important values are to every decision and action I
take. I want dig deeper into the values work for myself and my team that
I support.

How would you describe Yvonne’s coaching style? What did you enjoy about
the way Yvonne works?
Yvonne’s coaching style is kind, positive, direct. Yvonne has so much
training and coaching knowledge and her laugh is infectious. She makes
you feel very comfortable from day one is not afraid to go deep with
personal vulnerable moments from her own life experiences. This gives
permission for others to share similarly.

What worked for you? What was your biggest aha?
Hearing everyone’s personal stories really connected me to the work. My
biggest aha’s: if I’m feeling burnt out I need to have more
self-compassion for myself; stand in my power but also be aware of the
effect my power has on those that I lead; living BIG!!, awareness of
values and how they guide actions.

Would you recommend a workshop or coaching by Yvonne to others? 
Definitely!!

Anything else you would like to share? I want to continue on this
journey through coaching. I will be reaching out in the future 🙂 Thank
you so much!!
Courtney Anders, DVM
Pearl Animal Hospital



About Your Dare To Lead™ Facilitator 

2023 is moving very quickly.

The pandemic is over and life is back to “normal” with everyone trying to catch up from all we have missed over the past 3 years.

.

Something about playing catch-up makes for a stressful time. The times are already challenging with political conflicts (vaxxed or unvaxxed, guns, wars?), work schedules, loneliness even when surrounded by others. But pandemic fallout continues with long frayed nerves and exhaustion bringing on a new intensity of stress and overwhelm. And You are wiped out.

Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries.

You feel resentful, angry and overwhelmed because you know your boundaries and values are being violated all the time, your needs and expectations are not being met.

You find that you are bracing yourself. You wonder which conversations you really have bandwidth for and which ones you should just let slide. And chances are, with the ongoing pandemic fallout, there are more issues at work. And it all feels like a hot mess.

You are already exhausted and so are your support networks.

You don’t always have to be the strong one.

If you need a safe empathetic space to let your hair down and catch your breath, a respite from all the drama, chaos and overwhelm of the upcoming vacation season, work and the demands of the year, while also getting teaching and personal/executive/leadership resources from me rooted in positive psychology, unbeatable mind and optimize frameworks, sparketype advising and Daring Way/Dare to Lead curricula (From Brene Brown), come join me in the RESPITE.

Respite is a year long membership haven for the Thriving Idealist Pledge To Align, Connect & Train (Thriving Idealist PACT).

RESPITE is a weekly, Safe, Empathetic Space. Initially created during the pandemic to support physicians and frontline workers, it is a program For You to Fill Up and Be Supported So You Can Serve Sustainably and Thrive.

RESPITE is like a warm hug, a place to let your hair down, put your feet up and be nourished after a stressful day.

A typical session starts with some breathwork, visualization and havening techniques to soothe and calm the nervous system and help you catch your breath from the chaos of the day, then an experiential session focused on a topic (see topics below) is facilitated by me to equip you and fill your cup for the week and then ends with some more breathwork and affirming practices to ground, inspire and support you through the week.

RESPITE starts MAY 9th, 2023! Sign Up

At RESPITE, You will:

• Have a safe place to breathe, vent, let your hair down, be supported rather than always having to support,

• learn skills for thriving including breathwork, cultivating connection, expressing boundaries, grief, asking for what you need, big 4 of mental toughness, how to delegate, antifragility, grounded confidence, cultivating vulnerability and courage, having hard conversations, dealing with overwhelm, rumbling with difficult emotions, practices for maintaining equanimity and calm during difficult times and many more skills for resilience, antifragility and thriving.

• You will have an intimate community of like-minded mission-driven, heart-centered individuals to connect with and know that you are not alone.

• Receive teaching and facilitation from me with a decade of experience coaching, facilitating and advocating for mission-driven, heart-centered professionals especially physicians and an increasing number of leaders in dentistry, clinical science and other helping professionals.

DETAILS

RESPITE will be weekly to starting May 9th, 2023

COST: $997 (Payment Plans and Pay What You Can Options are available for those who need it. Email me at thrivingideals@gmail.com)

Deadline to register – Rolling admission. NO REFUNDS. Payments will be applied to any other coaching programs or workshops in my store of equivalent cost.

RESPITE Enrollments end annually. You are welcome to re-enroll after each Respite year is over.

You are worthy of a safe, empathetic supportive space.

You are worthy of the time, energy, attention, resources and even money to address your needs and support you in the life you want.

Come join me!

During our time together, there will be Group coaching and teaching of all the topics I coach in personal, leadership and organizational development doing the work from the methodologies I am certified in: Positive Psychology, Daring Way, Rising Strong, Dare to Lead, Sparketype Advising, Unbeatable Mind coaching(mental toughness and emotional resilience), Heroic Optimize Coaching (I know, I know… #nerdlife)

We will explore and practice positive psychology tools, breath work, visualizations and meditations,  plus experiential work (finding joy at work, self trust, boundaries, values, strengths, permissions, rising strong from failure, having hard conversations, giving engaged feedback, showing up in the arena, taking off the armor, cultivating square squads and meaningful connections, life design, future me embodiment, plus restorative, restful and rejuvenative practices etc together. 

If you have attended my Respite Sessions or workshops you have an idea of what I am describing. 

Ready to give yourself the gift of RESPITE now? Click here to secure your spot.

Want to chat about it first? I’d love to! Click here to book a free, no obligation 20 minute call with me.

When you sign up, you make a PACT with yourself. You PLEDGE to ACT: To ALIGN, CONNECT and TRAIN. You will have access to the Thriving Idealist Cultivating Academy library. You go at your own pace and you don’t have to do them all. I will cover the fundamentals during our sessions. 

ALIGN: 6 MODULES:

MODULE 1 – SELF-DEVOTION: PERMISSIONS and COMMITMENTS including self-compassion, empathy, authenticity and permission slips.

This will help you lay the foundation of commitment to yourself. You will design the life you want from a strong foundation. 

MODULE 2 – Rumbling with Vulnerability – Taking Off the Armor, Cultivating Shame Resilience and Grounded Confidence.

This is The foundational skill for courageous living, loving and leadership.

MODULE 3 – DESIGNING THE LIFE YOU WANT – Future Me exercises, Obituary, Mission, Purpose, Dreams.

This makes sure you’re moving on track to get to where you ACTUALLY want to be, not where everyone (or society) says you should be.

MODULE 4 – PRIORITIES

This is similar, but is going to help you focus your days NOW in the right places, so you get more done in less time (and actually enjoy the process!)

MODULE 5 – VALUES

If you’ve worked with me before, you’ll know that burnout occurs when you’re out of alignment with your values. This will help keep you on track to stay away from burnout (or pull you out of it if you’re already close) with actions to embody your values. 

MODULE 6 – STRENGTHS

We’ll get clear on what they are  and how they  empower you so you can build your life sustainably. 

MODULE 7 – ALIGNMENT INTEGRATION – Boundaries, Living BIG & Embodiment, Values X Strengths Integration and operationalization

This is where it all comes together to make it work for YOU!

2. CONNECT – 6 MODULES

MODULE 7 – SELF -CONNECTION AND VALUE– Reconnecting to yourself in a deeper way. Remembering who you are, what makes you you and what brings you joy 

MODULE 8 – EMPATHY – Empathy, Empathy Misses, Hard Conversations and Engaged Feedback

MODULE 9 – SELF-TRUST – Learning to trust yourself and becoming your own strongest ally, learn how to be a safe space for yourself with non-judgment

MODULE 10 – TRUST RELATIONSHIPS AT WORK AND HOME

MODULE 11- BUILDING SQUARE SQUADS and COMMUNITY

MODULE 12 – CONNECTION INTEGRATION – Communities Of Practice

3. TRAIN – 6 MODULES

MODULE 13 – DEVELOPING THE 5 ARENAS OF AN INTEGRATED LIFE – Physical, Mental, Emotional, Spiritual & Intuition

MODULE 14 – CULTIVATING RESILIENCE, ANTIFRAGILITY and INNER AUTHORITY

MODULE 14 – CREATING CONSISTENT SUSTAINABLE ALIGNED HABITS USING THE DISCIPLINES OF THE WARRIOR

MODULE 15- CREATIING PRACTICES FOR  MORNING RITUALS

MODULE 16 – CREATING PRACTICES FOR NIGHT TIME RITUALS

MODULE 17 – PRACTICES FOR DEVELOPING EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE

MODULE 18 – THE BIG 4 OF MENTAL TOUGHNESS

BONUS MODULES:

MODULE 19 : RISING STRONG FROM FAILURE

MODULE 20: CULTIVATING PRACTICE as a WAY OF LIFE – Perfectionism, Consistency, Process, and Integration.

Sign Up FOR RESPITE HERE.

Want coaching and would like to upgrade to a smaller mastermind experience of 2-4 members with group coaching? Sign Up for TIME – The Thriving Idealist Mastermind Experience. You can specify if you want a physician-only group or a mixed professions group. You will still have access to all the RESPITE sessions and recordings.

Want to chat about it first? I’d love to! Click here to book a free, no obligation 20 minute call with me.

 All participants will have Access to all teaching videos, coaching videos and all the recordings from all the previous respite sessions.

You will also receive access the Values workshop  

We will meet for weekly for an hour on Tuesdays at 5pm PT. You will have access to all the recordings in case you miss a session. There will also be a facebook group for those who want it for connection and shared language.

The investment for Respite is $997.  This is for the inaugural class. The prices will go up in the next enrollment period.

Are you ready to finally have the support you need to build the tools you know can change your life? Secure your spot HERE or Email me for Pay What You Can.

No Refunds. Payment can be transferred to another program, workshop or coaching package of equal value. Payment plans are available.



I know it’s hard right now. There is a way through. You can find respite and hope even in what’s going on with you.


As always, if you are struggling or know someone mission driven and heart-centered who has sacrificed a lot to make a difference and is struggling, or just want support on your journey, or to help you transition to the next level of your journey  reply to this email.

You are not alone.

Do not go through this year without support if you need it. 

You Matter. I see you, I love you and you belong. I am glad you are here. 

Sending you love, peace and strength,

Yvonne Ator, MD, MPH

Certified Personal And Executive Coach for mission-driven and heart-centered professionals

Certified Dare To Lead Facilitator

Certified Daring Way Facilitator

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.”― Fred Rogers

Fondly called “The Helper For Helpers and Sheepdog for Sheepdogs”, Dr. Yvonne Ator is deeply passionate about serving those who serve and lead. 

As the Founder of Thriving Physicians and Thriving Idealist, she has spent the past several years coaching mission-driven Physicians and other helping professionals who desire to serve and lead sustainably and thrive in their personal and professional lives while making their positive impact in the world without succumbing to disillusionment, moral injury, compassion fatigue or burnout. As a sheepdog for sheepdogs, she equips helpers and leaders struggling with overwhelm, overwork or feeling stuck with tools and resources to master themselves so they can live authentically and serve to their fullest potential. Yvonne is also passionate about creating daring  leadership and courage cultures in the workplace. 

An immigrant born in England, raised in several states in Nigeria and the United States, Yvonne was the quintessential multipassionate idealist who wanted to change the world through medical missions and music. However, after finding herself at a crossroads, overwhelmed and compassion-fatigued as a new mom having to choose between her mental health and burnout in the medical profession she had sacrificed everything for, Yvonne became an avid advocate for physician wellness, courageous service and leadership,  suicide prevention and a more wholehearted culture in the workplace. 

After losing her comatose dad during a physician strike and finding herself homeless, divorced and financially destitute, Yvonne realized the pitfalls of burnout and quitting medicine without a safety net. She now empowers helping professionals to step back from the tunnel of overwhelm and burnout, rediscover their values and strengths with a new lens and mindset to see the options before them and make more aligned and empowered decisions.

In addition to a doctorate of Medicine from the Brody School of Medicine and a Master of Public Health from Johns Hopkins University, she has attained several certifications in resilience, wellness, personal, leadership and organizational development. She is a certified Personal and Executive Coach in positive psychology, Certified Daring Way Facilitator, Certified Dare to Lead Facilitator (Brene Brown’s work) and a certified Unbeatable Mind Coach (Integrated Training in Mental Toughness and Emotional resilience with  Retired Navy SEAL Commander Mark Divine!).  

 A physician, musician, coach, writer, author, speaker, advocate  and serial-quester, Yvonne is tireless in her mission  to empower, equip and inspire those who have sacrificed to serve. She co-created the Veterans Integrated Program with the Courage Foundation to help veterans with post-traumatic stress cultivate the tools and practices to thrive. She has served schools, non-profit organizations, hospital teams and mixed professional groups as a sought-out keynote speaker, executive coach and workshop facilitator on leadership, resilience, work culture and emotional development topics such as Daring Leadership, Rumbling with Vulnerability, Living Our Values and building TRUST, disciplines of the warriors and the big 4 of Mental toughness. 

She has also spent the pandemic hosting Respite sessions for frontline workers to help with stress, overwhelm and burnout. She has internationally published several articles including laughter as medicine, caring for caregivers, mindfulness meditation, grief, crisis intervention, trauma resilience and cultivating values. She serves as a Founding Executive Board Member of the Mindful Healthcare collective. She is a co- author of the book “Thinking About Quitting Medicine?”  and her story is featured in the bestselling personal development books “SPARKED” by Jonathan Fields and “I Quit!” by Coonoor Behal. She has also served as  adjunct professor at  the Cal State University San Marcos Master of Public health program. 

When she isn’t being chased around by her two unbeatable warrior-princesses, she is either playing guitar in bands, meditating, latin dancing, wanderlusting, hosting free virtual Respite sessions for physicians and other Frontline workers during the Pandemic, doing burpees to support Courage Foundation’s mission to help veterans with Post-traumatic stress, dreaming up her next quest or geeking out on values, leadership, antifragility, emotional intelligence, Unbeatable Mind and Oprah! 

Latest Thriving Idealist Newsletter! https://mailchi.mp/5768fb171cae/when-you-dont-have-time-8743481?e=[UNIQID]

This Time Next Year, I Want To Celebrate This   “Even the sharpest knife can not sharpen itself.” – African Proverb One of my favorite Annual review exercises is highlighting things I wish to celebrate.  I am not one who pauses to celebrate often. In fact I am usually a “Done, Done , Onto The Next One!” like the Foo Fighters sing.  But every year, when planning my next year on December 31st, I always write down what I wish to be celebrating this time next year.  And then, that next year on December 31st, during my celebrating highlights I see if that one thing is among what I am celebrating.  This exercise is a gamechanger. It helps keep me focused on what matters to me or meaningful goals that I am likely to procrastinate or avoid because I am too scared of how big the dream is.  This year, among other wins,  I am celebrating 3 major things that have been on my bucket list for years: Starting the podcast (The interviews I have recorded so far are beyond my dreams), Publishing on Kevin MD site and being interviewed for the Kevin MD podcast and Teaching a semester at Cal State University.  But what I am really celebrating in my bones is my sense of deep alignment with my values that I have really show up as myself, cultivate deep strong friendships, alignment in myself, work and community, explore my curiosities and serve in a deeper way that I have aspired to.  It makes sense, because I ramped up my own inner work over the last few years with coaching, accountability, mentoring, friendships and loving support in my own life. I actively allowed myself to ask for help and to receive more than I ever have.   At the beginning of our coaching relationship, I often ask my new coaching clients if nothing changes in a year what would your life look like? How about 5 years?   It allows them to see what would happen, if they stayed in status quo without beginning the journey of learning and embodying the skills and practices to creating, sustaining and thriving in the life they want as they make their positive impact in the world.  If the status quo remained, they say things like “I would be burned out.” “I would be dead.” “I would be really sick.” “I would probably lose my marriage and my kids.” “I would have to quit my career and everything I sacrificed my life for.”  With my coaching support, they design the lives they want and we create practices, alignment plans and skills for embodying them and meeting their goals and dreams.  How about you?  What was your life like this time last year? 5 years ago?  Any different from now? More aligned? Less?  If less aligned with the life you desire, it might be time to get some support. As Africans say, “Not even the sharpest knife can sharpen itself. What were you like last year? How are you now?   If you are not feeling the way you want, you are 100% in control. You get to choose what you want. You get to choose.  This concept completely changed my life – I get to choose. I get to choose my response. No one is coming to save me. I get to decide to get help, change my schedule, say no. I give myself permission to live the life that is calling me. Is it hard? Yes, sometimes mindnumbingly hard. But the alternative is worse. The cost is too high to live out of alignment.  So, What would you like your life to be like this time next year? In 5 years?  How would you finish the sentence “This time next year, I want to celebrate…” ?  Writing the book? Creating a work schedule that works for you and your family? Letting go of a position or role that no longer serves you? Getting that certification? A happier more connected marriage? More time for you personally? Joining the band? Dating again? Finding your community and building mutually nourishing friendships?  If whatever you were doing this time last year did not work, and you find yourself in the same position or worse, consider that you are doing the best you can. Not because you were lazy or not working hard enough.  Sometime, you simply need support. We all have our blind spots. As my mentor Charlie Gilkey said “you can’t read the label from inside the jar.” Who am I? I have been coaching for a decade as a personal and executive coach, certified in multiple evidence-based coaching modalities including positive psychology (all things thriving and flourishing), Unbeatable Mind (mental toughness and emotional resilience – I was trained by a Navy SEAL Commander Mark Divine) and Daring Way/ Dare To Lead (all things Brene Brown’s research), Optimize Heroic coaching (all things helping the hero, the mission-driven optimize their life.)  I am deeply passionate about helping helper-leaders thrive, mission-driven heart-centered individuals who have sacrificed everything to make a difference in the world and find themselves needing some support themselves in living the life they want. I have served mostly physicians but increasingly being asked by amazing humans from various professional backgrounds.  Take some time to reflect and journal on the questions I posed above as your year draws to a close.  If you find that you are needing support on your journey, I’ve got you.  I am here to support you in living the life you want. You deserve it.  Sign up for coaching with a consultation session –  a powerful 75 minutes to really hold space, assess your needs, bring clarity  and create a plan of support for you. These are different from discovery calls. My consultations sessions are designed to bring you clarity, hope and a way forward. I don’t do discovery calls because those very short sessions are designed to make you feel anxious and not enough unless you buy the coaching. Sign Up Now before the busyness and chaos pull you away for another year.   If group coaching is more your preference, Sign Up for TIME – The Thriving Idealist Mastermind Experience. Click image or Scroll Below for details.  I know it’s hard right now. There is a way through. You can find respite and hope even in what’s going on with you. As always, if you are struggling or know someone mission driven and heart-centered who has sacrificed a lot to make a difference and is struggling, or just want support on your journey, or to help you transition to the next level of your journey  reply to this email. You are not alone. Do not go through this holiday season without support if you need it.  You Matter. I see you, I love you and you belong. I am glad you are here.  Sending you love, peace and strength and looong hugs, Yvonne  Flashback to August 2014. Celebrating my younger self who was crazy enough to start the journey to living the life I want, doing work I absolutely love and crossing off my #1 bucket list item at the time – meeting Oprah! A life-changing experience! For TIME, continue reading for details.   Thriving Idealist Mastermind Experience (TIME). A six month small group coaching and community experience to build the skills so you can lead well and feel strong while living your values. Beginning Jan 17th, 2023 You work hard. You chose this. But you’re TIRED. You have sacrificed a lot of time and energy to train yourself to help people, to make a positive impact in the world. And you do… but now you seem to spend all your time working. And when you are not working? You’re catching up frantically with the rest of your life – partner, kids, chores, extended family, logistics, etcYou are usually the reliable one, the strong one everyone goes to when they need help. But you find when you need help, you have no one to talk to…. not at your level…   — you don’t mean that in a bragging way. It’s just that you have attained a level of achievement that many aspire to but few know of the unique challenges that accompany your path, behind the scenes. Everyone is used to being helped by you, so when you ask for help…they feel ill-equipped. Or just weird… You want to do the inner work that you KNOW needs to happen. You’ve already started down the path of learning how to create boundaries, how to prioritize self-care in a realistic way, emotional resilience, harmonizing work life and personal life. But you know there’s more to do. And for once, you wish you could be doing it alongside other people. You try to make friends. But it’s hard! Shallow talk bores you but you find you have nothing to talk about with the people around you beyond that. Or when people find out what you do for a living, they are intimidated. So you shrink yourself. You have spent so much time on your professional journey, you haven’t had the bandwidth to develop friendships and mentorships to support you. You are surrounded by people but you feel lonely. You pick up the phone but you don’t know whom to call. The  friends you have are great but their values are not really aligned with yours. They’re not doing their inner work and don’t really get what you’re talking about when you describe the life you want… You are going through difficult times and you realize no one really has your back. Or maybe you are accomplishing great things but you can’t really celebrate or share because you don’t want to outshine those around you. So you dim your light.  Or maybe you have big goals and dreams and really want support in creating the life you want. But when you try and share them with the people in your life, they either always say what they think you want to hear… …or are so judgmental and critical, picking apart everything you do that you feel unsafe about sharing your truth about your desires and struggles. What if it was different? What would it feel like to have an intimate community of mission-driven, empathetic, heart-centered humans like you who are committed to walking alongside you and each other? What would it feel like to be able to let your hair out, show up fully, authentically, imperfectly and in all your brilliance and be met with love, empathy, non-judgment, resonance and belonging? What would it feel like to be supported with a plan, equipped with skills and held accountable as you do your work toward creating the life you want without having to dim your light or shrink your dreams? What would it feel like to just be? To know you belong, are accepted, valued and loved, without having to perform, earn or hustle for worthiness? What would it feel like to have the time, space and safety and access to cultivate the resources, tools and skills to create the life you want? What would it feel like to have a place where you are celebrated for your wins and encouraged and supported during your losses? What would it feel like to have people who tell you the truth in a loving, non-judgmental yet direct way? What would it feel like being able to confidently show up in all arenas of your life and use your voice knowing that you have a community that has your back?  It would feel like being in the Thriving Idealist Mastermind Experience (TIME)! It’s about TIME you had the support you give to everyone and develop the skills to design the life you want to live!  The Thriving idealist Mastermind experience is a 6 month group coaching experience. It includes seminars and workshops on skills for thriving personally and professionally as you make your positive impact in the world — without succumbing to overwhelm, overwork, disillusionment, compassion fatigue or burnout. This will be an intimate group of 4-6 mission-driven, heart-centered humans. You will walk alongside one another, learning shared language and doing your work for 6 months. We will begin with a virtual retreat on Jan 21, 8am-12pm Pacific. Over the 4 hours, we’ll have sessions on things like Reviewing 2022, Clarifying Priorities, Goals and Dreams for 2023, Designing the life you want and of course getting to know one another!  During our 6 months together, There will be Group coaching and teaching of all the topics I coach in personal, leadership and organizational development doing the work from the methodologies I am certified in: Positive Psychology, Daring Way, Rising Strong, Dare to Lead, Sparketype Advising, Unbeatable Mind coaching(mental toughness and emotional resilience), Heroic Optimize Coaching (I know, I know… #nerdlife) We will explore and practice positive psychology tools, breath work, visualizations and meditations,  plus experiential work (finding joy at work, self trust, boundaries, values, strengths, permissions, rising strong from failure, having hard conversations, giving engaged feedback, showing up in the arena, taking off the armor, cultivating square squads and meaningful connections, life design, future me embodiment, plus restorative, restful and rejuvenative practices etc together. If you have attended my Respite Sessions or workshops you have an idea of what I am describing.   Ready to give yourself the gift of TIME now? Click here to secure your spot. Want to chat about it first? I’d love to! Click here to book a free, no obligation 20 minute call with me.  When you sign up, you make a PACT with yourself. You PLEDGE to ACT: To ALIGN, CONNECT and TRAIN. You will have access to the Thriving Idealist Cultivating Academy library. You go at your own pace and you don’t have to do them all. I will cover the fundamentals during our sessions.  ALIGN: 6 MODULES: MODULE 1 – SELF-DEVOTION: PERMISSIONS and COMMITMENTS including self-compassion, empathy, authenticity and permission slips.This will help you lay the foundation of commitment to yourself. You will design the life you want from a strong foundation.  MODULE 2 – Rumbling with Vulnerability – Taking Off the Armor, Cultivating Shame Resilience and Grounded Confidence.This is The foundational skill for courageous living, loving and leadership. MODULE 3 – DESIGNING THE LIFE YOU WANT – Future Me exercises, Obituary, Mission, Purpose, Dreams.This makes sure you’re moving on track to get to where you ACTUALLY want to be, not where everyone (or society) says you should be. MODULE 4 – PRIORITIES This will help you focus your days NOW in the right places, so you get more done in less time (and actually enjoy the process!) MODULE 5 – VALUES If you’ve worked with me before, you’ll know that burnout occurs when you’re out of alignment with your values. This will help keep you on track to stay away from burnout (or pull you out of it if you’re already close) with actions to embody your values.  MODULE 6 – STRENGTHS We’ll get clear on what they are  and how they  empower you so you can build your life sustainably.  MODULE 7 – ALIGNMENT INTEGRATION – Boundaries, Living BIG & Embodiment, Values X Strengths Integration and operationalizationThis is where it all comes together to make it work for YOU! 2. CONNECT – 6 MODULES MODULE 7 – SELF -CONNECTION – Reconnecting to yourself in a deeper way. Remembering who you are, what makes you you and what brings you joy  MODULE 8 – EMPATHY – Empathy, Empathy Misses, Hard Conversations and Engaged Feedback MODULE 9 – SELF-TRUST – Learning to trust yourself and becoming your own strongest ally, learn how to be a safe space for yourself with non-judgment MODULE 10 – TRUST RELATIONSHIPS AT WORK AND HOME MODULE 11- BUILDING SQUARE SQUADS and COMMUNITY MODULE 12 – CONNECTION INTEGRATION – Communities Of Practice 3. TRAIN – 6 MODULES MODULE 13 – DEVELOPING THE 5 ARENAS OF AN INTEGRATED LIFE – Physical, Mental, Emotional, Spiritual & Intuition MODULE 14 – CREATING CONSISTENT SUSTAINABLE ALIGNED HABITS USING THE DISCIPLINES OF THE WARRIOR MODULE 15- CREATIING PRACTICES FOR  MORNING RITUALS MODULE 16 – CREATING PRACTICES FOR NIGHT TIME RITUALS MODULE 17 – PRACTICES FOR DEVELOPING EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE MODULE 18 – THE BIG 4 OF MENTAL TOUGHNESS BONUS MODULES: MODULE 19 : RISING STRONG FROM FAILURE MODULE 20: CULTIVATING PRACTICE as a WAY OF LIFE – Perfectionism, Consistency, Process, and Integration.The mastermind will be no more than 10-12 humans broken into smaller huddles of3- 4 integrity partners and paired into 2 empathic buddies. The first 10 to sign up between now and December 30th, will receive 6 free one on one coaching sessions with me worth $3000. You can begin using your coaching sessions as soon as you sign up!  Ready to be one of those ten? Click here to secure your spot. Want to chat about it first? I’d love to! Click here to book a free, no obligation 20 minute call with me.  All participants will have Access to all teaching videos, coaching videos and all the recordings from all the previous respite sessions.You will also receive access the Values workshop  We will meet for 2 hour sessions every two weeks for 6 months, on alternate Tuesdays at 5pm PT The Early Bird investment  for TIME is $6000. (Price will go up to $7500 after December 31st.)  Remember: if you’re one of the first 10 to sign up, If you sign up NOW, you can use some or all of your coaching sessions for support if you struggle during the holidays and need a safe, nonjudgmental, supportive space. I know my square squad has saved mine again and again by helping me remember who I am in the face of the lies of shame, disappointment, loneliness and failure, to celebrate my wins and just show up as myself as I continue to do my inner work! Are you ready to finally have the support you need to build the tools you know can change your life? Secure your spot HERE  No Refunds. Payment can be transferred to another program, workshop or coaching package of equal value. Payment plans are available.

Book A Consultation SessionBook Here! Sign UP for the THRIVING IDEALIST MASTERMIND EXPERIENCE (TIME)!Sign Up Here! Book Me To Speak at Your Event or Run a Dare To Lead Workshop for Your Team! Schedule A Chat

“Who we are is how we lead.” – Brene Brown

You have been looking forward to this day.

Pandemic has been rough. Finally, the world has opening up. Everyone is transitioning back to in-person activities at work and in life. Trying to navigate the new normal. Lots going on. So weird but fun moving out of Zoom-land. So many changes and so much catching up to do.

Back at the office. But everyone is quitting now. First the Great Resignation, it’s “Quiet Quitting.” It is a hot mess. You were looking forward to doing all the things you haven’t been able to do in these past 30 months.

But you feel tired, unmotivated yet overwhelmed, overstimulated and have a hard time concentrating.

You went into the pandemic sure about who you are, what you do, where you are headed.

But the pandemic stripped a lot away. And now as you exit the tunnel of the pandemic, excited to return to a new normal, you find that nothing is the same. Everything is different – including you.

And yet, you are supposed to operate as usual at work, home, parenting, love… Business as usual, productivity as usual, profit as usual… You as usual?

Not really…

You wanted to make a difference in the world.

You wanted to help people, make a positive impact, create something meaningful to change the world.

You made deep sacrifices to train and equip yourself for your profession. And you find yourself continuing to make more sacrifices, day in, day out.

Overwhelm, Overwork, Overgiving…

And what about the people?

Family died, marriages got rocky or “failed”, work changed, jobs lost, people quit, kids developed mental health issues… Now everything feels harder, awkward, out of sorts. Out of control. You are working harder and harder but You feel scattered, lacking confidence, uncertain and not really feeling in touch with yourself or the world. .


You seek a way out.

Numb, escape, avoid…

You need a break!

So you plan the vacations, binge on Netflix, self medicate with wine, shopping, food, but deep down you know these are temporary fixes. You will return to the problem after a week or two of vacation. You will be roughly in the same position after the numbing, escaping and avoiding.

You are starting to dread going to work.

You wonder, “how did I get here?” “What would it take for me to thrive at work, enjoy my life, get back to feeling like myself again?” “Why does everything feel so hard? I am smart, I am good at what I do but why is everything taking so long? I feel like I am not 100% – I am feel like I am failing at work and at home even though everything looks fine.”

You sense there is something more for you.

You know you are capable of so much more.

You have more to give, accomplish, discover – but you can’t quite tap into it. On the surface everything looks fine. But you feel like a mess on the inside. You long to take off the mask and armor and really show up as yourself. You long to set boundaries, have those hard conversations, take courageous action, align with your values and cut out the habits that are no longer serving you so that you can focus on what really matters to you. You long to tap into the truest and highest expression of yourself in your work, marriage, parenting, leadership and relationships.

If you find yourself longing for a more courageous, aligned, integrated and authentic life,, thriving at work and home, you are in the right place!

I hear you. I see you.

For over a decade, I have been on a mission to help highly skilled mission-driven professionals overcome disillusionment, overwhelm, compassion fatigue and burnout to thrive while making their positive impact in the world.

Personally and professionally, the pandemic was rough for me with reckonings in every arena of my life – parenting, race, faith, identity, work, love.

Steeping even deeper into this work as I taught, coached, facilitated saved me again and again. I was able to show up for myself, children, work and my community when fetal position would have been completely understandable. I am deeply grateful for it!

So, I know, there is a way forward with clarity and purpose.

You will need a strong practice, an evidence-based framework and community to help you get through the last 3 months of 2022 so you can start 2023 on the right foot!

I invite you to a more aligned option.

I am offering my 12 week Dare To Lead online workshop starting Thursdays October 7th, 2022 to December 29th, 2022 at 5pm PT, 8pm PT. I Invite you to join a group of mission-driven heart-centered leaders and professionals in learning the skills for answering your personal call to courage, the call to show up and live your life fully, the call to brave leadership.

You will learn all the skills for brave leadership and courageous cultures at work and home including transitioning from Armored leadership to Daring Leadership, Rising Strong from Failure and Setbacks, Living into Our Values, Braving Trust, Rumbling with Vulnerability.

“Yvonne, I am too tired to take care of myself, much less lead anyone. I am not a leader. Why should I attend your Dare to Lead workshop?”

“A Leader is anyone at ANY level who takes responsibility for finding the potential in people and processes adn has the courage to develop that potential.” – Brene Brown

I have run several Dare To Lead Groups through out the pandemic. I have seen the powerful transformative impact this work has had on individuals and organizations alike.


This is about learning how to show up as you are.

I say, dare to show up – Show up for yourself. Show up for those you love and serve.

What if in place of feeling lost, you discovered your compass, your values and learned how to live them?

What if in place of feeling stuck and paralyzed by the setbacks, disappointments and failures, you learned to grieve, learn from the experiences, rise strong from them and thrive?

To find out more, continue reading below for details. To register, click the link below. Here’s to you thriving!

REGISTER

A 12 week Online Workshop
Two hour Sessions: Thursdays 5pm PT, October 13th – December 29th 2022 (Off on Thanksgiving!)

“To be the person who we long to be—we must again be vulnerable. We must take off the armor, put down the weapons, show up, and let ourselves be seen.” – Dr. Brené Brown, Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts

About The Dare To Lead Workshop

Hello!

Thank you for your interest in the Dare To Lead ™ Workshop.

The “Dare to Lead” Workshop is based on the research of Dr. Brené Brown. Dare to Lead™ is an empirically based courage-building leadership program designed to be facilitated only by Certified Dare to Lead organizational development professionals.

The most significant finding from Brené’s latest research is that courage is a collection of four skill sets that are teachable, measurable, and observable.

The Dare to Lead™ program focuses on developing these courage-building skills through workshops, trainings and coaching to help individuals, teams and organizations move from armored leadership to daring leadership.

This 12-week Dare to Lead™ Workshop will help you:

• Be the kind of leader others will want to follow
• Be the kind of partner/parent/friend you want to be
• Get results and be even more effective and productive
• Create a stronger, more effective team
• Tap into your values and lead authentically

Individuals who successfully complete the full 24-hour Dare to Lead program will receive a Dare to Lead Trained certificate and badge that can be posted on their LinkedIn account.

Align with your values and who you really are by digging deep into the principles of wholehearted living featured in Daring Greatly, Rising Strong and the Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown. Dare To Lead is the application of these principles in the workplace and organizational setting. Connect with a growing tribe of wholehearted professionals like you who value authenticity, creativity, compassion, connection, vulnerability, altruism, empathy, embracing imperfection and resilience. Get inspired and equipped to thrive in the life you deeply desire to live.

You and 9 other wholehearted professionals will step out of your autopilot life for 12 weeks of laughter, growth, insight, inspiration, rejuvenation as you explore and realign with your own values, connect and discover new friends and like-minded kindred. You will dig deep into exploratory exercises on creativity, authenticity, rising from failure, Daring Leadership, connection, shame resilience, letting go of perfectionism, mindfulness, to name a few.

Total cost is $2499 and covers workshop, workbooks, certificates and teaching. You will also receive a “Dare To Lead Trained” badge on LinkedIn. NO REFUNDS. Your fee will be applied to a coaching program or workshop of your choice at equal value. Use the code DARE for $500 off before September 22nd, 2022. REGISTRATION ENDS on October 1st to allow the workbooks to be mailed to you on time.  If you sign up later than October 1st you will receive your workbook days after the start.  Only 10 spots available. For a $250 fee per installment, Payment plans available HERE. Or Email thrivingideals@gmail.com for details about a pay what you want scholarship if you are a frontline professional financially hit by the pandemic. 

REGISTER

AGENDA

Series of 12 Weekly Gatherings (each session is 2  hours in length)
Sessions: Thursdays, October 13th – December 29th 2022, 8-10pm ET,  5 -7 pm PT 

Session 1: Introduction – Brave Leaders & Courage Cultures LESSON 1 – The Heart of Daring Leadership
Session 2:  LESSON 2 – Armored Leadership versus Daring Leadership
Session 3:  Brave Leaders & Courage Cultures (cont.); Rumbling with Vulnerability LESSON 3 – Self-Awareness & Emotional Literacy LESSON 4 – The Myths of Vulnerability 
Session 4:Third Meeting: Rumbling with Vulnerability (cont.) LESSON 5 – Shame Resilience 
Session 5:LESSON 6 – Empathy and Self-Compassion LESSON 7 – Armored Leadership to Daring Leadership Circle Back Fourth Meeting: 
Session 6: Living into Our Values LESSON 8– Living Into Our Values LESSON 9– Grounded Confidence and Rumbling Skills    
Session 7: Living into Our Values (cont.) LESSON 10 – Engaged Feedback LESSON 11 – Armored Leadership to Daring Leadership Circle Back
Session 8: BRAVING Trust LESSON 12 – BRAVING Trust LESSON 13 – Armored Leadership to Daring Leadership Circle Back
Session 9:  Learning to Rise LESSON 14 – Learning to Rise: The Reckoning
Session 10: LESSON 15 – The Rumble and The Revolution 
Session 11:  LESSON 16 –  The Revolution (cont’d) and Integration 
Session 12: LESSON 17 – Armored Leadership to Daring Leadership Circle Back LESSON 18 – Closing  

REGISTER

Here’s to you cultivating Daring Leadership and inspiring courageous cultures wherever you lead, love and work!

Sincerely,
Yvonne

Yvonne Ator, MD, MPH
Coach, Facilitator & Advocate
Certified Dare To Lead Facilitator
Certified Daring Way Facilitator
Certified Unbeatable Mind Coach
Certified Personal and Executive Coach in Positive Psychology
Founder, Thriving Idealist
Founder, Thriving Physicians
“Grow into your ideals so that life will not rob you of them.” – Dr. Albert Schweitzer

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

DARE TO LEAD TESTIMONIALS

What was going on in your life before working with me? How were you
feeling?

Prior to working with Yvonne life was a struggle to plow through the
pandemic, but at least the kids were returning to in person learning. I
was feeling a sense of languishing and despair from staffing shortages
and a sense that there is no end in sight.

How was your experience during the first session?
The first session feels so long ago! I was nervous to share so openly
with complete strangers, but Yvonne created a container of support and
trust.

How was your experience for the duration of the course? What were the
sessions like?
Each session was better than the last with a growing foundation of
grounded confidence and expanded self-awareness. The sessions really
valued everyone’s unique voice and perspective and it was really great
to be supported by such like-minded strong positive women.

What results or benefits did you gain from the sessions? What were the
results of working with Yvonne? What exists now that didn’t before and
how do you feel about that?

I feel like the course exposed the tip of the iceberg for where this
journey of living BIG can take me. I feel like I have a better sense of
the type of person, leader and mom I want to be. Yvonne was a great
facilitator, which was enhanced along the way with her coaching nuggets
of knowledge and insight. The course would not have been as impactful if
she didn’t take the script to a deeper place that was personal and
specific to each of the members in the group. I had not ever really
thought about how important values are to every decision and action I
take. I want dig deeper into the values work for myself and my team that
I support.

How would you describe Yvonne’s coaching style? What did you enjoy about
the way Yvonne works?
Yvonne’s coaching style is kind, positive, direct. Yvonne has so much
training and coaching knowledge and her laugh is infectious. She makes
you feel very comfortable from day one is not afraid to go deep with
personal vulnerable moments from her own life experiences. This gives
permission for others to share similarly.

What worked for you? What was your biggest aha?
Hearing everyone’s personal stories really connected me to the work. My
biggest aha’s: if I’m feeling burnt out I need to have more
self-compassion for myself; stand in my power but also be aware of the
effect my power has on those that I lead; living BIG!!, awareness of
values and how they guide actions.

Would you recommend a workshop or coaching by Yvonne to others? 
Definitely!!

Anything else you would like to share? I want to continue on this
journey through coaching. I will be reaching out in the future 🙂 Thank
you so much!!
Courtney Anders, DVM
Pearl Animal Hospital

About Your Dare To Lead™ Facilitator 

Speaker, Coach, Author, Facilitator and Advocate.

Yvonne Ator, MD, MPH is deeply passionate about helping helpers thrive. Nicknamed, “Helper For the Helpers, Yvonne has served several mission-driven physicians, veterans and other helping professionals for the past several years.

After her own burnout experience in medicine, Yvonne founded Thriving Idealist and Thriving Physicians committed to helping idealists thrive and serve sustainably as they make their positive impact in the world without succumbing to burnout, compassion fatigue or disillusionment. She became a certified Daring Way Facilitator and Certified Dare To Lead Facilitator to help create a more wholehearted culture in healthcare and helping professions. She is also a certified Personal and Executive Coach in positive psychology and certified Unbeatable Mind Coach focused on Mental Toughness and Emotional Resilience.

She is a Speaker around the country on several topics including “Rumbling With Vulnerability”, Daring Leadership, the Thriving Idealist, Burnout, Mental Toughness etc. A co-author of the acclaimed book, “Thinking about Medicine?”, she also writes the wellness column for the internationally published Radiant Magazine and other popular websites such as Productive Flourishing.

When she isn’t playing with her two warrior-princess daughters, she is meditating, reading, latin dancing, playing guitar, writing, serial questing or geeking out to all things Oprah!

REGISTER

Thursday, September 29th, 2022 at 5pm PT, 8pm ET, An Interactive Workshop on ZOOM

 You are overwhelmed, and it’s no surprise. You’re having to do a LOT.

Work is insane right now. You’re being asked to do more and more and more, with less time and fewer resources. Unless you want everything to fall apart, you can’t drop any balls. 

And delegating? Forget about it. There’s no one you can trust to do it the way they’re supposed to. Maybe you’ve even tried in the past to hand stuff off, only to find you have to wade in and course correct. Even more work for you, leaving you even more behind.

You’re so overloaded that you find yourself neglecting other people: your patients or clients and your family.

You hate the way you’re treating your family. You’re crabby with your kids and your spouse. Honestly, it’s sometimes hard not to be when you’ve spent all day carrying all the slack at work, only to come home and find you have to do everything there, too. You find yourself dropping passive-aggressive comments that you they’ll pick up on, you hope will make you feel better, but they always just make you feel worse. 

You don’t take time for yourself. Are you kidding?? You have so much to do, how could you justify it? And anyway, doing something “for fun” feels so alien that… you’ve kind of forgotten what fun is anymore. When you try and relax (at a party, at home), you find yourself unable to. Your mind is constantly racing with all there is to do.

You don’t have time for friendships. You find the ones you had are falling by the wayside. Honestly? You’re lonely. When the stuff hits the fan, you don’t know who to turn to. 

You’re starting to suspect life doesn’t have to be like this. That maybe you should be saying “no” more. 

But it’s not that easy! There are consequences to saying no. So, you just keep on keeping on, hoping that everyone else will get their act together or your work will somehow magically procure more resources or that, maybe, the little sleep you’re getting will start to feel like enough.

You’re right that it doesn’t have to be like this. 

Things can be different — no magic required. 

Imagine getting up in the morning feeling… calm.

Imagine hanging out with your family at breakfast and enjoying it. No yelling or snapping. Just quality time. 

Imagine feeling great about your partner in ALL the ways, because your labor at home feels fair.

Imagine if everyone at home is pulling their weight *without being asked*. No I am not joking!!

Imagine if that’s happening at work, too. People step in when they need to and you’re able to trust them to do the job well. Every day, instead of running around like a headless chicken, you’re able to clearly prioritize and clarify what’s the important work you should be doing .

There are disasters. You make mistakes. Life is life! But instead of getting derailed, you bounce back.

You get out of work on time. I KNOW!

And once you’re home, it’s a joy to be there. You laugh more. You play more! Instead of bingeing TV to numb out, you’re able to enjoy watching it.

You start to build (or rebuild) friendships. You have the time and bandwidth to cultivate them — with people you actually like!

Sometimes, you even go on vacation. *And* relax!

This is a life you can have RIGHT NOW. 

This is a life you can have even if the place where you work is stretched for resources. Even if the people you work (or live) with seem, right now, to be a bunch of lazy…. you-know-whats.

On Thursday, September 29th, 2022 at 5pm PT, 8pm ET, I’m running an online workshop on Guilt-Free Boundary Setting. Because when you can get good at that *everything* around you shifts.

In this highly interactive and practical two-hour workshop, we’ll talk about what it is you have to put in place to develop this skill. 

We’ll cover what you have to do advance of making even one boundary — and we’ll DO that work *during the workshop itself* so you’re immediately ready.

You know that thing where you agree to do something, but you wish you didn’t have to, and you feel like garbage? 

I call that a “Dirty Yes”. I’m going to show you how to say, instead of a “Dirty Yes”, a “Clean No” — a boundary that is a gift *even to the person you’re saying no to.*

I’ll share my three tools for setting effective and guilt-free boundaries. Most importantly, I’ll show you how to

– catch you breath
– find your calm
– fill your cup

You’ll leave with some concrete steps for how to move your days from overwhelm, exhaustion and resentment to calm, focus and genuine happiness.

When you sign up, you will also receive the Values Workshop recording and workbook valued at $497 for free. This will help you prepare for your boundaries work. You can’t put up the fence and gate if you don’t know where your yard is or territory starts and ends! You can’t set boundaries if you don’t know your values!

This interactive, transformative workshop happens on Thursday, September 29th, 2022 at 5pm PT, 8pm ET

Ready to start enjoying your work and your life again? 

Reserve your spot here:

Saturday, January 27th, 2024. 8am -11am Pacific Time. On Zoom.

“There are no guarantees in the arena. We will struggle. We will even fail. There will be darkness. But if we are clear about the values that guide us in our efforts to show up and be seen, we will always be able to find the light. We will know what it means to live brave” 

These are some dark times.

Many of us are looking around searching for the light. hoping someone or something comes along to guide us, lead us, liberate us and give us permission to live the life we know we desire to live.

Here is the thing – no one is coming to save you. No one is coming to save me.

You will need to cultivate the light you are seeking.

The light you are seeking is in you.

But you will need to cultivate it. And you cultivate it by cultivating your values. It is why my slogan is “Cultivate your light.”  

In the past decade of my practice as a physician coach and increasingly a coach for servant-leaders and other mission-driven heart centered professionals, I have noticed something powerful.

No topic has been as seismic shifting, life-changing for my clients as Values work. 

As idealists who desire to make a positive impact in the world, our values are everything to us.

Living out of alignment with our values can create deep pain, make us feel lost and disoriented in our lives and push us to the edge of burnout and disillusionment as we realize that the way we are living is unsustainable. 

It blows my mind every time I see it. 

Like clockwork, as soon as I begin coaching clients on discovering or uncovering their values, clarifying them, aligning with their values and creating habits to embody them, living their values on a day to day moment by moment basis, the shifts that happen are truly stunning. 

Clients go from the edge of burnout, disillusionment, feeling lost to being energized, hopeful, motivated and even dreaming again. It’s as if their hero’s journey clicks into place and their people, mentors, opportunities, start to show up.  The ripples spread into the priority areas of their lives, transforming their relationships with themselves, spouses/partners, children, work, community and beyond. 

Values light the way.

You can’t enter any arena and survive without going in with your values.

They inform the lens with which we view the world. They are the GPS, the compass that guide us. They are the beliefs that are most important to us, that help us find our way when things are difficult, that fill us with a sense of purpose. 

Values define us.

They show us who we are at our best. They are filters we use to make hard decisions. And when we are out of alignment with them, we feel disoriented, lost, burned out, unlike our authentic selves and out of sorts. 

In my coaching, I have found that setting boundaries is impossible without knowing what our values are.

Living into our values is also a skillset of courage and daring leadership. 

When organizations come into alignment with the values they profess, their employees start to experience improved wellbeing and lower levels of burnout and disillusionment. 


Living into our Values is also a powerful part of rising strong from falls, failures and disappointments. 

During my consultation sessions, I always ask prospective clients about their values. The length of time it takes for them to answer often points to the underlying causes of the pain, burnout and disillusionment they are experiencing. 

Do you know what your core values are? 

If so, are you living them? 

If not, would you like to learn how? 

Come join us! 

If you would like to clarify your values, align with them and learn how to live them on a daily moment to moment basis, come join me in my new Living Into Your Values workshop, culled from the Daring Way, Dare to Lead and my own unique values framework.

January 27th, 2022 , 8am to 11am Pacific time. On Zoom. You will receive the link and list of values and eworkbook after you sign up.

Use the code VALUES for $100 off before January 18th midnight.

I am announcing this here for the first time – it isn’t public yet. There are only 10 spots. So if you or someone you know would like to attend, SIGN UP NOW  

For $497, 

• You will receive a comprehensive list of values, sign up early so you can do your prework. 
• 3 hours of teaching, facilitating and a deep dive into values work – cost $1500
• 1 hour of 1-1 coaching  to help support you in creating habits to ensure you are living your values on a daily. moment to moment basis. You will schedule this at your convenience. Cost $500
• A powerful experience discovering more of your truest and highest self and learning to embody her/him/them – priceless

Only 9 spots are currently available for the workshop. 

You will learn: 
1. How values light the way. 
2. How to go from professing your values to practicing and living them.
3. What your top 5 core values are.
4. what top 1-2 values really light you up. 
5. What specific behaviors and people support and protect your values
6. How you will know when you have lost your way, are in trouble or are out of alignment with your values. Early warning indicators you are living outside your values.
7. What if feels like to embody your most important values and how to use it as a guidepost, 
8. Self-compassionate ways to support yourself in the hard work of living your values. 
9. How to apply your values to the priority areas of your life. 
10. How to use your values to help you set better boundaries. 



Values work really is a game-changer.

You will see your life as before values and after values. It is that life-changing.

I believe that when we cultivate our values and embody them, we really do cultivate our inner light and become beacons that radiate into the world, making a positive impact in the world. This is how we change the world! 

Looking forward to seeing you on April 16th! SIGN UP HERE!

Sending you love, peace and strength,
Yvonne 

Yvonne Ator, MD, MPH
Physician Coach, Facilitator and Advocate
Coach, Facilitator and Advocate for Mission-Driven Professionals
Certified Daring Way Facilitator
Certified Dare To Lead Facilitator
Certified Unbeatable Mind Coach
Certified Personal and Executive Coach in Positive Psychology
Founder, Thriving Physicians www.thrivingphysicians.com
Founder, Thriving Idealist www.thrivingidealist.com
“Grow into your ideals so that life will not rob you of them.” – Dr. Albert Schweitzer

“If we are brave enough, often enough, we will fall.” – Brene Brown

Job Loss, Divorce, Loss of income… Loss, Failure, Grief…

The Covid-19 pandemic has brought us to an individual and a collective face-down moment.

How are we feeling?

Sad? Overwhelmed? Anxious? Exhausted? Disoriented?

How are we coping?

Numbing? Escaping? Busywork? Lashing out?

How do we rise strong from this moment and thrive again?

Join us in the Rising Strong online course starting Thursday Jan 13th, 2022, as we learn how to bounce back, heal and rise strong from life’s face-down moments with an 8 week dive into the Rising Strong curriculum by Dr. Brene Brown.

For the past several years, I have been coaching and teaching this work to mission-driven heart-centered professionals and leaders of diverse backgrounds including medicine, research, education and finance who see to thrive not only at work but also personally.

Learn the tools and skills of reckoning with the stories we tell ourselves when we fall, rumbling with emotions such as anxiety, grief, anger, frustration, shame, offloading hurt , learn how to cultivate trust through healthy boundaries, accountability, reliability, generosity, integrity, confidentiality and non-judgment.

Learn how to become more resilient, wholehearted and write a new ending to the stories we tell ourselves when we fail.

DETAILS

The course fee is $1497. But to acknowledge the moment for those who are struggling financially and need the work, I am offering a “Pay What You Can” option. Also, if you sign up before December 10th for the full amount, you can use the code RISING to get a discount (200 off) to $1297. The course fee also covers a $250 mandatory screening consultation.

The screening consultation ensures the safety of participants by exploring individual needs and interests, assessing coping agreements, current emotional state and existing emotional support for the individuals interested in the course.

Your full course payment of $1497 (Or Pay What You Can Amount) Covers:

The Rising Strong curriculum, workbook and supplies. (Value – $2500)

Online Workshop Sessions and office hours (Value – $7500)

8 weeks of connecting, growing and sharing heartfelt stories with a community of wholehearted kindreds in a positive, empathetic, safe and supportive space with a multi-certified professional who is passionate and well-versed in the work! (Value – Priceless!)

You will also be added to our own private FB group where you can connect and share stories before and after the Course so you can deepen the bonds of lifelong friendships you began.
Limited spots available – Only 10 participants allowed.

AGENDA

Week 1: Introduction, Clarity of Values

Week 2 The Reckoning, Offloading Hurt, Strategies for Reckoning with Emotion

Week 3: Act II: The Rumble, Common Rumbling Themes

Week 4: Rumbling with Vulnerability, Rumbling with Shame

Week 5: Rumbling with Living BIG, Trust and BRAVING

Week 6: Rumbling with Grief and Forgiveness, Rumbling with Anxiety and Criticism

Week 7: The Delta, Act III: The Revolution

Week 8: Integrating and Creativity

You deserve to rise again. You deserve to live aligned with your ideals. You deserve to thrive in all arenas of your life as you make your positive impact in the world.

Excited? So am I! I can’t wait to meet you!

SIGN UP!

Course begins Thursday, Jan 13th, 2022 and Ends Thursday March 10th, 2022.

Workshop: Thursdays at 4-5:30pm Pacific/7-8:30pm Eastern.

Office hours: weekly: Fridays at Noon Pacific, 3pm Eastern (optional)

REGISTRATION DEADLINE IS 11:59pm Pacific on Dec 31st, 2021! NO REFUNDS. Payments will be applied to another workshop, course or coaching sessions of equal value.



To sign up for the full amount, click HERE. Don’t forget to use RISING for a $200 discount before Dec 31st, 2021.

To sign up for a PAY WHAT YOU CAN amount, Click “Buy Now” below.

REGISTER FOR THE RISING STRONG WORKSHOP HERE

I am honored to help you do your work to rise strong from the falls, failures, transitions and setbacks of your life and thrive again. See you soon!

Sincerely,
Yvonne Whitelaw, MD, MPH
Coach, Facilitator and Advocate for Physicians and Helping Professionals
Certified Daring Way Facilitator
Certified Dare To Lead Facilitator
Founder, Thriving Idealist
Founder, Thriving Physicians
“Grow into your ideals so that life will not rob you of them.” – Dr. Albert Schweitzer
“I don’t know what your destiny will be; but one thing I do know; the only ones among you who will be truly happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve.” – Dr. Albert Schweitzer

Winter is coming.

Holidays are supposed to be times of connection, fun, tradition and celebration.

Something about the holiday season makes it an especially stressful time. The holidays are already challenging as with family reunions, political conflicts (vaxxed or unvaxxed?), work schedules, loneliness even when surrounded by others. But now with the pandemic with long frayed nerves and exhaustion, the holidays have taken on a new intensity of stress and overwhelm

Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries.

You feel resentful, angry and overwhelmed because you know your boundaries and values are being violated all the time, your needs and expectations are not being met.

You find that you are bracing yourself. You wonder which conversations you really have bandwidth for and which ones you should just let slide. And chances are, with the cooler weather and more time spent indoors, there will be more cases of flu and Covid. And it all already feels like a hot mess.

You are already exhausted and so are your support networks.

You don’t always have to be the strong one.

If you need a safe empathetic space to let your hair down and catch your breath, a respite from all the drama, chaos and overwhelm of the holidays, while also getting teaching and personal/executive/leadership coaching support from me rooted in positive psychology, unbeatable mind and optimize frameworks and Daring Way/Dare to Lead curricula (From Brene Brown), come join me in the Holiday RESPITE.

At RESPITE for the Holidays, You will:

• Have a safe place to breathe, vent, let your hair down, be supported rather than always having to support,

• learn skills for thriving in the holidays including breathwork, cultivating connection, expressing boundaries, grief, asking for what you need, big 4 of mental toughness, how to delegate, grounded confidence, cultivating vulnerability and courage, having hard conversations, dealing with overwhelm, discovering and aligning with your values, rumbling with difficult emotions, practices for maintaining equanimity and calm during difficult times and many more skills for resilience and thriving.

• You will have a small intimate community to like-minded mission-driven, heart-centered individuals to connect to and know that you are not alone.

• Receive coaching from me with a decade of experience coaching, facilitating and advocating for mission-driven, heart-centered professionals especially physicians and an increasing number of leaders in dentistry, clinical science and other helping professionals.

• Review the year’s wins and challenges. Set intentions, goals, theme and plan for the new year aligned with your values and strengths.

DETAILS

RESPITE will be twice weekly to accommodate schedules starting November 22nd, 2021 to January 31st, 2022

COST is $997

You can pick either group coaching sessions – Saturdays at 10a-11:30p Pacific or Tuesdays from 4-5:30pm Pacific Time. You can pick whichever works for you and you can show up as often as you want or not. (Tuesday sessions end Jan 6th and move to Saturdays at 8am -9:30am from Jan 13th to end of Holiday RESPITE)

You will also have access to me for laser coaching if you are struggling with something and need to talk to someone.

Only 8 spots available. Deadline to register – Rolling admission until all 8 spots taken. NO REFUNDS. Payments will be applied to any other coaching programs or workshops in my store.

RESPITE Enrollments open every 2 months. You are welcome to re-enroll for RESPITE after HOLIDAY RESPITE is over.

You are worthy of a safe, empathetic supportive space.

You are worthy of the time, energy, attention, resources and even money to address your needs and support you in the life you want.

Come join me!

SIGN UP FOR RESPITE HERE!

“Who we are is how we lead.” – Brene Brown

You have been looking forward to this day.

Pandemic has been rough. Finally! The world is opening up. Everyone is transitioning back to in-person activities at work and in life. Trying to navigate. Lots going on. So weird but fun moving out of Zoom-land. So many changes and so much catching up to do. Back at the office. But everyone is quitting now. It is a hot mess. You were looking forward to doing all the things you haven’t been able to do in these past 20 months.

But you feel tired, unmotivated yet overwhelmed, overstimulated and have a hard time concentrating.

You went into the pandemic sure about who you are, what you do, where you are headed.

But the pandemic stripped a lot away. And now as you exit the tunnel of the pandemic, excited to return to a new normal, you find that nothing is the same. Everything is different – including you.

And yet, you are supposed to operate as usual at work, home, parenting, love… Business as usual, productivity as usual, profit as usual…

You wanted to make a difference in the world.

You wanted to help people, make a positive impact, create something meaningful to change the world.

You made deep sacrifices to train and equip yourself for your profession. And you find yourself continuing to make more sacrifices, day in, day out.

Overwhelm, Overwork, Overgiving…

And what about the people?

Family died, marriages got rocky or “failed”, work changed, jobs lost, people quit, kids developed mental health issues… Now everything feels harder, awkward, out of sorts. Out of control. You are working harder and harder but You feel scattered, lacking confidence, uncertain and not really feeling in touch with yourself or the world. .

You seek a way out.

Numb, escape, avoid…

It’s the holidays!

So you plan the vacations, binge on Netflix, self medicate with wine, shopping, food, but deep down you know these are temporary fixes. You will return to the problem after a week or two of vacation. You will be roughly in the same position after the numbing, escaping and avoiding.

I hear you. I see you.

For over a decade, I have been on a mission to help highly skilled mission-driven professionals overcome disillusionment, overwhelm, compassion fatigue and burnout to thrive while making their positive impact in the world.

Personally and professionally, the pandemic was rough for me with reckonings in every arena of my life – parenting, race, faith, identity, work, love.

Steeping even deeper into this work as I taught, coached, facilitated saved me again and again. I was able to show up for myself, children, work and my community when fetal position would have been completely understandable. I am deeply grateful for it!

So, I know, there is a way forward with clarity and purpose.

You will need a strong practice, an evidence-based framework and community to help you get through the next 3 -6 months.

I invite you to a more aligned option.

I am offering my 12 week Dare To Lead online workshop starting January 11, 2022 I Invite you to join a group of mission-driven professionals in learning the skills for answering your personal call to courage, the call to show up and live your life fully, the call to brave leadership.

You will learn all the skills for brave leadership and courageous cultures at work and home including transitioning from Armored leadership to Daring Leadership, Rising Strong from Failure and Setbacks, Living into Our Values, Braving Trust, Rumbling with Vulnerability.

“Yvonne, I am too tired to take care of myself, much less lead anyone. I am not a leader. Why should I attend your Dare to Lead workshop?”

“A Leader is anyone at ANY level who takes responsibility for finding the potential in people and processes adn has the courage to develop that potential.” – Brene Brown

I have run several Dare To Lead Groups through out the pandemic. I have seen the powerful transformative impact this work has had on individuals and organizations alike.

This is about learning how to show up as you are.

I say, dare to show up – Show up for yourself. Show up for those you love and serve.

What if in place of feeling lost, you discovered your compass, your values and learned how to live them?

What if in place of feeling stuck and paralyzed by the setbacks, disappointments and failures, you learned to grieve, learn from the experiences, rise strong from them and thrive?

To find out more, read below for details. To register, click below. Here’s to you thriving!

REGISTER

A 12 week Online Workshop
Two hour Sessions: Tuesdays 4-6 pm PT, March 8th -May 31st, 2022

“To be the person who we long to be—we must again be vulnerable. We must take off the armor, put down the weapons, show up, and let ourselves be seen.”
– Dr. Brené Brown, Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts

You sense there is something more for you. You know you are capable of so much more- you have more to give, accomplish, discover – but you can’t quite tap into it. On the surface everything looks fine. But you feel like a mess on the inside. You long to take off the mask and armor and really show up as yourself. You long to set boundaries, have those hard conversations, take courageous action, align with your values and cut out the habits that are no longer serving you so that you can focus on what really matters to you. You long to tap into the truest and highest expression of yourself in your work, marriage, parenting, leadership and relationships.

If you find yourself longing for a more courageous life, you are in the right place!

About The Dare To Lead Workshop

Hello!

Thank you for your interest in the Dare To Lead ™ Workshop.

The “Dare to Lead” Workshop is based on the research of Dr. Brené Brown. Dare to Lead™ is an empirically based courage-building leadership program designed to be facilitated only by Certified Dare to Lead organizational development professionals.

The most significant finding from Brené’s latest research is that courage is a collection of four skill sets that are teachable, measurable, and observable. The Dare to Lead™ program focuses on developing these courage-building skills through workshops, trainings and coaching to help individuals, teams and organizations move from armored leadership to daring leadership.

This 12-week Dare to Lead™ Workshop will help you:

• Be the kind of leader others will want to follow
• Be the kind of partner/parent/friend you want to be
• Get results and be even more effective and productive
• Create a stronger, more effective team
• Tap into your values and lead authentically

Individuals who successfully complete the full 24-hour Dare to Lead program will receive a Dare to Lead Trained certificate and badge that can be posted on their LinkedIn account.

Align with your values and who you really are by digging deep into the principles of wholehearted living featured in Daring Greatly, Rising Strong and the Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown. Dare To Lead is the application of these principles in the workplace and organizational setting. Connect with a growing tribe of wholehearted professionals like you who value authenticity, creativity, compassion, connection, vulnerability, altruism, empathy, embracing imperfection and resilience. Get inspired and equipped to thrive in the life you deeply desire to live.

You and 9 other wholehearted professionals will step out of your autopilot life for 12 weeks of laughter, growth, insight, inspiration, rejuvenation as you explore and realign with your own values, connect and discover new friends and like-minded kindred. You will dig deep into exploratory exercises on creativity, authenticity, rising from failure, Daring Leadership, connection, shame resilience, letting go of perfectionism, mindfulness, to name a few.

Total cost is $2499 and covers workshop, workbooks, certificates and teaching. You will also receive a “Dare To Lead Trained” badge on LinkedIn. NO REFUNDS. Your fee will be applied to a coaching program or workshop of your choice at equal value. REGISTRATION ENDS  February 28th to allow the workbooks to be mailed to you on time.  If you sign up later than Feb 28th, you will receive your workbook days after the start.  Only 10 spots available. For a $250 fee per installment, Payment plans available HERE. Or Email thrivingideals@gmail.com for details about a pay what you want scholarship if you are a frontline professional financially hit by the pandemic. 

REGISTER

AGENDA

Series of 12 Weekly Gatherings (each session is 2  hours in length)
Sessions: Tuesdays , January 11th – March 29th, 7-9pm ET,  4 -6 pm PT 
Office Hours (Optional): Fridays 3-4pm ET, 12-1pm PT

Session 1: Introduction – Brave Leaders & Courage Cultures LESSON 1 – The Heart of Daring Leadership
Session 2:  LESSON 2 – Armored Leadership versus Daring Leadership
Session 3:  Brave Leaders & Courage Cultures (cont.); Rumbling with Vulnerability LESSON 3 – Self-Awareness & Emotional Literacy LESSON 4 – The Myths of Vulnerability 
Session 4:Third Meeting: Rumbling with Vulnerability (cont.) LESSON 5 – Shame Resilience 
Session 5:LESSON 6 – Empathy and Self-Compassion LESSON 7 – Armored Leadership to Daring Leadership Circle Back Fourth Meeting: 
Session 6: Living into Our Values LESSON 8– Living Into Our Values LESSON 9– Grounded Confidence and Rumbling Skills    
Session 7: Living into Our Values (cont.) LESSON 10 – Engaged Feedback LESSON 11 – Armored Leadership to Daring Leadership Circle Back
Session 8: BRAVING Trust LESSON 12 – BRAVING Trust LESSON 13 – Armored Leadership to Daring Leadership Circle Back
Session 9:  Learning to Rise LESSON 14 – Learning to Rise: The Reckoning
Session 10: LESSON 15 – The Rumble and The Revolution 
Session 11:  LESSON 16 –  The Revolution (cont’d) and Integration 
Session 12: LESSON 17 – Armored Leadership to Daring Leadership Circle Back LESSON 18 – Closing  

REGISTER

Here’s to you cultivating Daring Leadership and inspiring courageous cultures wherever you lead, love and work!

Sincerely,
Yvonne

Yvonne Ator, MD, MPH
Coach, Facilitator & Advocate
Certified Dare To Lead Facilitator
Certified Daring Way Facilitator
Certified Unbeatable Mind Coach
Certified Personal and Executive Coach in Positive Psychology
Founder, Thriving Idealist
Founder, Thriving Physicians
“Grow into your ideals so that life will not rob you of them.” – Dr. Albert Schweitzer

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

DARE TO LEAD TESTIMONIALS

What was going on in your life before working with me? How were you
feeling?

Prior to working with Yvonne life was a struggle to plow through the
pandemic, but at least the kids were returning to in person learning. I
was feeling a sense of languishing and despair from staffing shortages
and a sense that there is no end in sight.

How was your experience during the first session?
The first session feels so long ago! I was nervous to share so openly
with complete strangers, but Yvonne created a container of support and
trust.

How was your experience for the duration of the course? What were the
sessions like?
Each session was better than the last with a growing foundation of
grounded confidence and expanded self-awareness. The sessions really
valued everyone’s unique voice and perspective and it was really great
to be supported by such like-minded strong positive women.

What results or benefits did you gain from the sessions? What were the
results of working with Yvonne? What exists now that didn’t before and
how do you feel about that?

I feel like the course exposed the tip of the iceberg for where this
journey of living BIG can take me. I feel like I have a better sense of
the type of person, leader and mom I want to be. Yvonne was a great
facilitator, which was enhanced along the way with her coaching nuggets
of knowledge and insight. The course would not have been as impactful if
she didn’t take the script to a deeper place that was personal and
specific to each of the members in the group. I had not ever really
thought about how important values are to every decision and action I
take. I want dig deeper into the values work for myself and my team that
I support.

How would you describe Yvonne’s coaching style? What did you enjoy about
the way Yvonne works?
Yvonne’s coaching style is kind, positive, direct. Yvonne has so much
training and coaching knowledge and her laugh is infectious. She makes
you feel very comfortable from day one is not afraid to go deep with
personal vulnerable moments from her own life experiences. This gives
permission for others to share similarly.

What worked for you? What was your biggest aha?
Hearing everyone’s personal stories really connected me to the work. My
biggest aha’s: if I’m feeling burnt out I need to have more
self-compassion for myself; stand in my power but also be aware of the
effect my power has on those that I lead; living BIG!!, awareness of
values and how they guide actions.

Would you recommend a workshop or coaching by Yvonne to others? 
Definitely!!

Anything else you would like to share? I want to continue on this
journey through coaching. I will be reaching out in the future 🙂 Thank
you so much!!

Best,
Courtney Anders, DVM
she/her/hers
Pearl Animal Hospital

About Your Dare To Lead™ Facilitator 

Speaker, Coach, Author, Facilitator and Advocate.

Yvonne Ator, MD, MPH is deeply passionate about helping helpers thrive. Nicknamed, “Helper For the Helpers, Yvonne has served several mission-driven physicians, veterans and other helping professionals for the past several years.

After her own burnout experience in medicine, Yvonne founded Thriving Idealist and Thriving Physicians committed to helping idealists thrive and serve sustainably as they make their positive impact in the world without succumbing to burnout, compassion fatigue or disillusionment. She became a certified Daring Way Facilitator and Certified Dare To Lead Facilitator to help create a more wholehearted culture in healthcare and helping professions. She is also a certified Personal and Executive Coach in positive psychology and certified Unbeatable Mind Coach focused on Mental Toughness and Emotional Resilience.

She is a Speaker around the country on several topics including “Rumbling With Vulnerability”, Daring Leadership, the Thriving Idealist, Burnout, Mental Toughness etc. A co-author of the acclaimed book, “Thinking about Medicine?”, she also writes the wellness column for the internationally published Radiant Magazine and other popular websites such as Productive Flourishing.

When she isn’t playing with her two warrior-princess daughters, she is meditating, reading, latin dancing, playing guitar, writing, serial questing or geeking out to all things Oprah!

REGISTER

Hey there… How are you?  It has been a reflective day for me. I had a full article written about Cultivating Rest and how to do so. But since I have learned to listen to whatever is showing up in the moment, I wanted to share a few thoughts on Cultivating Meaning.

My friend died from brain cancer this morning. She was 51. I met Kerri Grote at camp Good Life Project, a real camp for adults, we both attended every year from 2014 -2018.

She was warm, kind, generous, spunky and just had a spark about her. We would geek out for hours about social justice, love, music and being heart-centered in what sometimes felt like a difficult world for empaths. She had reached out to me recently praising me for my positive posts and we shared about loving and missing each other.

She died unexpectedly this morning and she left words to be shared after her death. Instead of sharing my words on cultivating meaning,  I wanted to share hers below. I will share mine next time. Life is short. If there is anything you need to do, do it now. Call the friend, enroll in the class, forgive yourself, invest in that dream,  say “I love you.”, join the band, eat the pie as Kerri would say… (Don’t forget, Registration for the last Dare to Lead workshop of the year ends on Sept 17th! Sign up here (http://yvonneator.com/dtlvirtualwkspsept2021) .) Enjoy your week. Rest In Peace Kerri.

“If you’re reading this, this fu$king brain cancer probably got me.

But let me be crystal clear while I’m able: I did not ”lose a battle” against cancer. This is a ridiculous, steamy pile of horse shit that society has dumped on cancer patients. Western medicine, and Western culture, especially, is so uncomfortable talking about death that instead it created this “battle” analogy that basically shames people who die from cancer.

News flash: None of us gets out alive from this rodeo called life.

There is no shame in dying from cancer – or any serious illness. And it doesn’t need to be a battle. It’s a transition that each of us will go through. I was asked by a shaman, whom I spoke to after my second brain surgery, “Are you running towards life or running away from death?”

Whoa! That got my attention.

There’s a BIG difference. I got it wrong more often than not.
Don’t let fear fuel your choices. Live fearlessly. Run TOWARDS life. Don’t worry about what people will think. Trust me, it doesn’t matter.

Focus on you. Be true to yourself. Be your own best friend. People who tell you you’re selfish are not your people. If the voice in your head says these unkind things, get a new voice. Honor your mental health and seek out a good therapist with the same vigor you’d search for a romantic partner.

Speaking of, be intentional about cultivating friendships that lift you up. As those friendships grow and change, don’t overlook them while you search for that “great love of your life.” (No, I’m not suggesting you sleep with your bestie. But you do you!)

Another unhelpful message that we get from society is that we need a “love of our life,” as a romantic partner.
Single and childless when I was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer, I looked around my life and came up sputtering and sobbing from the wave of grief washed over me. I thought I’d be doing this alone… no husband, no kids, no “great love.”

How wrong I was. At the first appointment with my neuro oncologists, one of the nurses diligently hauled in chair after chair for the great loves of my life who came with me that horrible day and many days after that.
I sat and listened while the doctor explained the 12-month treatment plan, focusing on my breathing, then looked around the room…. filled with great loves of my life: incredible women friends whom I had met at various stages of my life.
Surround yourself with people who contradict that unkind voice, people who see your light, and remind you who you are: an amazing soul.

Learn how to receive these reflections from your people. Because they are speaking the Truth.

Love yourself, no matter how weird and silly it might feel. Every morning, give yourself a hug before your feet hit the floor. Look deeply into your eyes in a mirror. Say to yourself, out loud, “I trust you.” That voice in your head might say you’re a dork. Ignore it.

As I prepare to leave this body and embark on this mysterious journey of my soul, I hope these observations from my deathbed are somehow useful.

What I know, deep in my bones, is that learning to love myself has led me to be able to say this: I’m so proud of how I lived.

May you, dear reader, feel the same when you head out on your soul journey, too. Until then, enjoy the ride. And always eat dessert first, especially if there’s pie!”
– Kerri Grote

It’s Thursday night, nearly 2 weeks ago and I am teaching the session on Rumbling with Anger. I am deeply moved by the number of attendees dealing with COVID related anger and stress and their engagement in the chat. I am in my element, teaching that anger is usually an indication that a boundary or value has been violated or a need or expectation has not been met, sharing tips for engaging with one’s anger, reckoning with the emotions underneath, how to have a conversation around conflict, how to deal with someone who is raging at you, how to take care of yourself and set boundaries that support you, get clear about your values and so on. I feel energized. I just love teaching and holding space for those who serve. Questions roll in and I answer them. Until I get to teaching about values and then suddenly the comments shift in intensity and tone reflecting the despair and hopelessness of trying to live in alignment in these times.

Comments like: “The problem in medicine is that medicine sets the boundaries and values. We don’t get to set our own values and boundaries in medicine. We sacrifice our own identities when we adopt the identity of “doctor”

“My value is integrity. There are a lot of hypocrites out there, which makes me angry”

“Sure. As a resident you don’t get to hold your values”

“That indoctrination is where the moral injury comes from. Expectations that we work based on someone else’s values and not your own.”

Suddenly, I am reminded of the quote that literally changed the trajectory of my life a decade ago and is the reason I do what I do today serving mission-driven idealists who have sacrificed everything to make a difference and desire to thrive without succumbing to disillusionment, compassion fatigue or burnout.

“The Space between our professed values and practiced values is where burnout lives.” – Brene Brown, Daring Greatly

I am a huge values geek (hey, as an Idealist, it goes without saying!) I first learned the stunning power of values and the data behind its effectiveness through my certifications in positive psychology, daring way, dare to lead and unbeatable mind coaching. Over the past decade, I have spent countless hours helping idealist physicians, scientists, teachers do the deep work of clarifying their values and operationalizing them. Using my own unique framework through coaching and facilitation to help them create habits and practices for living their values rather than merely confessing them.

I have seen several of my clients go from burned out and overwhelmed to lit up, motivated and inspired in their personal and professional lives after doing their values work. I know for sure that the gap between your professed values and practiced values is burnout. It is unsustainable to live in that gap. This is why I am seeing unprecedented numbers of physicians, nurses, teachers and other helpers burning out. Actually, it seems like EVERYONE is burning out during the pandemic but especially the helpers who are more willing to sacrifice themselves and face exploitation because they are so committed to their ideals. The values of service, empathy, making a difference, commitment, connection, curiosity, compassion and other values that brought them to their professions are being violated daily by systemic, administrative policies and practices that are in direct opposition to what they stand for.

Values are the illumination and navigation systems of our lives. They light up the way for our journeys and guide us in the right direction. Whenever I hear a client say how lost they feel, I immediately ask about their values. Now more than ever, we need to go from merely professing our values to actually living them. This pandemic and all the reckonings it has gifted us, point to a huge divide between what we say and what we do. We have to bridge the gap to live authentically and serve and lead sustainably.

So, how are you doing?

Maybe you are wondering “how did I get here?” “Why do I feel so lost?” “I don’t feel like I am helping anyone.” “I am so tired. I don’t feel like going to work anymore.”

Check in. What are your values? Are you living in alignment with your values? Are you able to live in alignment with your values at work? At home? What are the challenges around that? To live authentically, walk in integrity, and serve sustainably, you will need to live your values. It is possible, actually imperative, to live your values in your personal and professional life. Being out of alignment usually means 3 things – either the misaligned practices/relationships in your life will cause conflict or harm or you will have to conform, numb yourself or break yourself in order to keep living out of alignment or you will have to work to come into alignment which also means allowing those things which are out of alignment with your values to either fall away or come into alignment.

This work is fun but definitely not for the faint of heart! If you’ve had enough and are ready to do your work, you are in the right place!

If you would like to learn more about values and how to embody yours, I am hosting a Values session for the Mindful Healthcare Collective on Thursday Sept 9th at 5:30pm to Register, Visit To register for the Values Session, https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZUrcu-sqT8oHdWyda71UT1LDzC4ijexOIzf

THE 12-Week VIRTUAL DARE TO LEAD WORKSHOP is almost here!

We are in month 18 of the pandemic and with the current delta variant surge, it is obvious that this pandemic is here to stay. Normal is gone forever. We are in a completely new world. Remote work. Now back to the office. Oh no, wait, back to remote work. Trying to keep up with all the changes at work can be overwhelming and disorienting. Change is the biggest source of shame in the workplace because of the fear of irrelevance. How do we navigate the changes at work, home and leadership and thrive? How do we show up in alignment with our values at work? How do we cultivate trust when there’s so much uncertainty? How do we ask for what we need? How do we have the hard conversations, rumble with difficult emotions, give engaged constructive feedback and create wholehearted cultures at work and home? And how do we rise from the setbacks, disappointments and failures of the pandemic? I have spent the pandemic teaching the Dare To Lead curriculum by Dr. Brene Brown to hundreds of professionals. It is incredibly transformative for individuals and organizations alike. To sign up for the 12 week virtual Dare To Lead Workshop, visit yvonneator.com/dtlvirtualwkspsept2021 and use the code COURAGE for $250 off by Sept 8th midnight

The world feels dark right now. As you know, the Thriving Idealist’s mantra is “Cultivate your light”. My mentor, Jonathan Fields of the Good Life Project, taught me that when you cultivate your values, and choose to live in alignment with them, you become a beacon. I believe this wholeheartedly. It’s time for you to cultivate your light, be a beacon for others in the darkness by clarifying your values and doing the work to embody them – moment by moment, breath by breath.

If you have found yourself struggling during this season, you are not alone. Many are feeling overwhelmed, exhausted and angry. At times like these, remember, there is always one thing you can do. Instead of looking at all the things pulling at you, focus on the One thing. Take a breath. Drink some water. Brain Dump your priorities and pick one thing. And if you make a mistake, that is ok. Start again. You have an infinite number of chances to start again. Take a breath, start again. Moment by moment, breath by breath, you will make it through. Please feel free to reach out to me if you have any questions or topics you would like me to cover. Don’t forget to sign up for the Dare To Lead Workshop or DM me for coaching! Be well. Be encouraged. Keep breathing and Stay Safe. We are in this together.
Have a wonderful week!

Love, Yvonne

You are angry.

Covid numbers are rising again. We were supposed to be home-free by now with everything reopening, back to normal and finally taking that vacation or that trip to see family you responsibly postponed during the pandemic.

You can feel the heat rising on your face, the catch in your throat and the tightness in your chest as you read the numbers of the latest Delta surge. You did everything you were supposed to do. You got vaccinated. You worked overtime to keep your patients and loved ones safe. And now you feel frustrated because it feels like you are back at square one. Changing your clothes in the basement, avoiding your family, not hugging your kids when you get home from work because you are afraid of making them sick. Spending the day taking care of unvaccinated patients who dismiss your qualifications, accuse you of making money for the government and spout other conspiracy theories in your face.

It all feels futile. Hopeless. A cluster____!

Staff shortages. Lack of Admin support. Even more expectations of productivity. Friends are quitting left and right. Suicides. Breakthrough cases. Preventable deaths.

You feel conflicted about your values – ever mindful of your commitment to your Hippocratic Oath but feeling with increasing conviction that you cannot continue to risk your life to care for patients who are sick because they refused to wear masks or get vaccinated. Or wrestling with the moral injury of having to say “too late” to patients on their deathbeds who now want the vaccine.

You are not alone.
Your anger is valid.
I see you and I hear you.

For many of us heart-centered, compassionate, positive, mindful, mission-driven do-gooders, anger is a difficult emotion to rumble with or even acknowledge. Many of us try to hide, mask or just pretend everything is ok but underneath, we are seething.

“Leaders must either invest a reasonable amount of time attending to fears and feelings or squander an unreasonable amount of time trying to manage ineffective and unproductive behavior.” – Brene Brown from Dare To Lead

(I am a naturally bubbly, smiley person – to share a pic of me not smiling is challenging but necessary- We need to overcome the society’s expectations for us to just grin and bear it. Enough with the emotional bypassing and toxic positivity. “Just pick another thought” is not enough. Same with facing our anger!).

So, how do you deal with the anger? How do you deal with questions that haunt you like “Can I refuse to see patients who refuse to wear masks or vaccinated? ”How can you continue to show up as the wholehearted, compassionate leader you are instead of armoring up for self protection.
How do you deal with masked anger which shows up as cynicism and sarcasm? How do you deal with the mounting grief, regret, frustration, fear, sadness, despair, pain and other emotions underneath that anger?

As a Personal and Executive coach and facilitator for physicians and other helping leaders, I am witnessing unprecedented rage and anger during this Delta surge. This Thursday, August 26th at 5:30 Pacific Time, I will be teaching “RUMBLING WITH ANGER”. Come and learn about how to rumble (face the hard emotions, have the hard conversations) with the anger during the pandemic. Using the principles from Dare To Lead by Brene Brown and a few tips from The Dance of Anger by Hariett Lerner and Healing Rage by Ruth King,You will learn how:

Anger is a secondary emotion, an iceberg And how to get to the emotions underneath. Cynicism and sarcasm often masks for it.

Anger is a powerful emotion often ignited by injustice and how to use it as a catalyst for compassion, change, love, justice and courage.

Holding on to Anger without tapping into its power to transform can make us sick, exhausted or crush our spirit

Anger reflects on our boundaries, values, expectations and needs and how to make sure we are in alignment, expressing, meeting and enforcing them. You will also learn how to check the stories you are making up, how you are offloading your anger, and how to keep it from affecting your work and home life.

If you can’t attend but want to learn more about my 12 week virtual Dare To Lead workshop , you can see the link http://yvonneator.com/dtlvirtualwkspsept2021. Throughout the pandemic, I have facilitated Dare to Lead for hospitals, residency programs, schools and non-profits, serving physicians, teachers, dentists, vets and so on equipping them with the tools and resources to rumble with difficult emotions including anger and vulnerability, living into our values, rising strong failures, setbacks and disappointments, how to take off the armor and put on grounded confidence and how to create and build trust in the workplace. The transformation of the individuals and workplace cultures from armored leadership (leading from self-protection) to daring leadership (leading from grounded confidence and values) has been incredibly powerful especially in the context of this pandemic. Come join us! See links in comments below to Sign up for the Mindful Healthcare Collective session RUMBLING WITH ANGER, Dare To Lead workshop or DM me for more information. Have a great week and see you soon!

“Who we are is how we lead.” – Brene Brown

You have been looking forward to this day. Pandemic has been rough. Finally! The world is opening up. Everyone is transitioning back to in-person activities at work and in life. Trying to navigate. Lots going on. So weird but fun moving out of Zoom-land. So many changes and so much catching up to do. Now you get to do all the things you haven’t been able to do for the past 15 months.

But you feel tired, unmotivated yet overwhelmed, overstimulated and have a hard time concentrating… You went into the pandemic sure about who you are, what you do, where you are headed. But the pandemic stripped a lot away. And now as you exit the tunnel of the pandemic, excited to return to normal, you find that nothing is the same. Everything is different – including you. And yet, you are supposed to operate as usual at work, home, parenting, love… Business as usual, productivity as usual, profit as usual… But what about the people? Family died, marriages got rocky “failed”, work changed, jobs lost, kids developed mental health issues… Now everything feels harder, awkward, out of sorts. You feel scattered, lacking confidence, uncertain and not really feeling in touch with yourself or the world. .

You seek a way out. Numb, escape, avoid… It’s summer! So you plan the vacations, binge on Netflix, self medicate with wine, shopping, food, but deep down you know these are temporary fixes. You will return to the problem after a week or two of vacation. You will be roughly in the same position after the numbing, escaping and avoiding.

I hear you. I see you.

For over a decade I have been on a mission to help highly skilled mission-driven individuals overcome disillusionment, overwhelm, compassion fatigue and burnout to thrive while making their positive impact in the world.

Personally and professionally, the pandemic was rough for me with reckonings in every arena of my life – parenting, race, faith, identity, work. Steeping even deeper into this work as I taught, coached, facilitated saved me again and again. I was able to show up for myself, children, work and my community when fetal position would have been completely understandable. I am deeply grateful for it!

So, I know, there is a way forward with clarity and purpose.

You will need a strong practice, an evidence-based framework and community to help you get through the next 3 – 6 months.

I invite you to a more aligned option. At the request of a previous participant of my Rising Strong workshop who wanted even more, I am offering my 12 week Dare To Lead online workshop starting September 22nd, 2021.
You will learn all the skills for brave leadership and courageous cultures at work and home including transitioning from Armored leadership to Daring Leadership, Rising Strong from Failure and Setbacks, Living into Our Values, Braving Trust, Rumbling with Vulnerability.

I Invite you to join a group of mission-driven professionals in learning the skills for answering your personal call to courage, the call to show up and live your life fully, the call to brave leadership.

“Yvonne, I am too tired to take care of myself, much less lead anyone. I am not a leader. Why should I attend your Dare to Lead workshop?”

“A Leader is anyone at ANY level who takes responsibility for finding the potential in people and processes adn has the courage to develop that potential.” – Brene Brown

This is about learning how to show up as you are. A leader is not a title.
I say, dare to show up – Show up for yourself. Show up for those you love and serve.

What if in place of feeling lost, you discovered your compass, your values and learned how to live them?

What if in place of feeling stuck and paralyzed by the setbacks, disappointments and failures, you learned to grieve, learn from the experiences, rise strong from them and thrive?

What if instead of shutting down, people pleasing or lashing out, you had hard conversations, expressed clear boundaries and gave constructive feedback in an aligned way?

What if instead of leading from a place of self-protection and hiding, you led from a place of vulnerability, courage, curiosity and grounded confidence?

Change is the biggest source of shame (not enoughness) in the workplace. What if instead of resisting change, you learned skills for feeling enough and accepting and embracing change?
What if instead of feeling suspicious and doubtful of everyone including yourself, you learned how to cultivate self-trust and build trustworthy partnerships and teams at work and home?

Throughout the pandemic, I have coached, trained and taught countless heart-centered, mission-driven professionals from various backgrounds on the principles of Dare To Lead through individual and group coaching, virtual workshops, keynotes and seminars.

Just in one day, I found myself coaching an OB physician on DTL strategies to help reduce pregnancy losses and infant deaths at her ER, a geriatrician leader returning to work after a baby, a team of OB docs desiring to improve hospital culture and applying what they learned to their residents and a pediatrician wanting to show up with her expertise in the trauma informed care space.

I do not only facilitate DTL in medicine. I help Clinical Scientists improve their leadership skills as their research becomes more renowned, responsibilities grow and their labs expand, I have helped non-profit organizations improve the morale of their heart-centered employees facing compassion fatigue and burnout by creating more courageous empathetic culture, helping teachers and administrators communicate better and improve outcomes for their students.

Needless to say, the Dare To Lead is a powerful framework and has been deeply transformative for those I serve.
You deserve to emerge from this Pandemic in a supportive, empowering and aligned way with skills for navigating this new normal and whatever it brings.

The virtual Workshop starts September 22nd, every Wednesday for 12 weeks from 4pm-6pm Pacific. Use the code THRIVING for $500 off before July 28th at midnight. There are payment plans available. And if you have been hit financially by the pandemic and would like to participate on a pay what you can option, please email me directly at thrivingideals@gmail.com

To find out more details and register, click below. Here’s to you thriving!

CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE AND REGISTER

Last call for Dare To Lead workshop starting June 7th, 2021! (Some wanted to know more and asked me to share. You are invited and I hope you can join me! If you were waiting for a sign, this is it!)

“Who we are is how we lead.” – Brene Brown

You have been looking forward to this day. Pandemic has been rough. Finally! The world is opening up. Everyone is transitioning back to in-person activities at work and in life. Trying to navigate. Lots going on. So weird but fun moving out of Zoom-land. So many changes and so much catching up to do. Now you get to do all the things you haven’t been able to do for the past 15 months.

But you feel tired, unmotivated yet overwhelmed, overstimulated and have a hard time concentrating… You went into the pandemic sure about who you are, what you do, where you are headed. But the pandemic stripped a lot away. And now as you exit the tunnel of the pandemic, excited to return to normal, you find that nothing is the same. Everything is different – including you. And yet, you are supposed to operate as usual at work, home, parenting, love… Business as usual, productivity as usual, profit as usual… But what about the people? Family died, marriages got rocky “failed”, work changed, jobs lost, kids developed mental health issues… Now everything feels harder, awkward, out of sorts. You feel scattered, lacking confidence, uncertain and not really feeling in touch with yourself or the world. .

You seek a way out. Numb, escape, avoid… It’s summer! So you plan the vacations, binge on Netflix, self medicate with wine, shopping, food, but deep down you know these are temporary fixes. You will return to the problem after a week or two of vacation. You will be roughly in the same position after the numbing, escaping and avoiding.

I hear you. I see you.

For over a decade I have been on a mission to help highly skilled mission-driven individuals overcome disillusionment, overwhelm, compassion fatigue and burnout to thrive while making their positive impact in the world.

Personally and professionally, the pandemic was rough for me with reckonings in every arena of my life – parenting, race, faith, identity, work. Steeping even deeper into this work as I taught, coached, facilitated saved me again and again. I was able to show up for myself, children, work and my community when fetal position would have been completely understandable. I am deeply grateful for it!

So, I know, there is a way forward with clarity and purpose.

You will need a strong practice, an evidence-based framework and community to help you get through the next 3 – 6 months.

I invite you to a more aligned option. At the request of a previous participant of my Rising Strong workshop who wanted even more, I am offering my 12 week Dare To Lead online workshop starting June 7th.
You will learn all the skills for brave leadership and courageous cultures at work and home including transitioning from Armored leadership to Daring Leadership, Rising Strong from Failure and Setbacks, Living into Our Values, Braving Trust, Rumbling with Vulnerability.

I Invite you to join a group of mission-driven professionals in learning the skills for answering your personal call to courage, the call to show up and live your life fully, the call to brave leadership.

“Yvonne, I am too tired to take care of myself, much less lead anyone. I am not a leader. Why should I attend your Dare to Lead workshop?”

“A Leader is anyone at ANY level who takes responsibility for finding the potential in people and processes adn has the courage to develop that potential.” – Brene Brown

This is about learning how to show up as you are. A leader is not a title.
I say, dare to show up – Show up for yourself. Show up for those you love and serve.

What if in place of feeling lost, you discovered your compass, your values and learned how to live them?

What if in place of feeling stuck and paralyzed by the setbacks, disappointments and failures, you learned to grieve, learn from the experiences, rise strong from them and thrive?

What if instead of shutting down, people pleasing or lashing out, you had hard conversations, expressed clear boundaries and gave constructive feedback in an aligned way?

What if instead of leading from a place of self-protection and hiding, you led from a place of vulnerability, courage, curiosity and grounded confidence?

Change is the biggest source of shame (not enoughness) in the workplace. What if instead of resisting change, you learned skills for feeling enough and accepting and embracing change?
What if instead of feeling suspicious and doubtful of everyone including yourself, you learned how to cultivate self-trust and build trustworthy partnerships and teams at work and home?

Throughout the pandemic, I have coached, trained and taught countless heart-centered, mission-driven professionals from various backgrounds on the principles of Dare To Lead through individual and group coaching, virtual workshops, keynotes and seminars.

Just in one day, I found myself coaching an OB physician on DTL strategies to help reduce pregnancy losses and infant deaths at her ER, a geriatrician leader returning to work after a baby, a team of OB docs desiring to improve hospital culture and applying what they learned to their residents and a pediatrician wanting to show up with her expertise in the trauma informed care space.

I do not only facilitate DTL in medicine. I help Clinical Scientists improve their leadership skills as their research becomes more renowned, responsibilities grow and their labs expand, I have helped non-profit organizations improve the morale of their heart-centered employees facing compassion fatigue and burnout by creating more courageous empathetic culture, helping teachers and administrators communicate better and improve outcomes for their students.

Needless to say, the Dare To Lead is a powerful framework and has been deeply transformative for those I serve.
You deserve to emerge from this Pandemic in a supportive, empowering and aligned way with skills for navigating this new normal and whatever it brings.

The virtual Workshop starts June 7th, every Monday for 12 weeks from 5pm-7pm Pacific. Use the code THRIVING for $500 off before June 5th at midnight. There are payment plans available. And if you have been hit financially by the pandemic and would like to participate on a pay what you can option, please email me directly at thrivingideals@gmail.com

To find out more details and register, visit my site in the comments below or directly sign up in the store link below. Here’s to you thriving!

CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE AND REGISTER

My article “Crying over Spilled Milk: How to Grieve Well and Rise Strong From Failures and Loss” just got published on the Productive Flourishing website! If you are struggling with grief during this pandemic, you are not alone. I hope this article will provide some comfort and support for you as you navigate this season. We are in this together. Here is the full article below. Check the link at the end for my latest Rising Strong Virtual Workshop!

——————————————————————————————————————–

I was standing in the checkout line at Trader Joe’s when it happened.

Milk dripping from a carton at the bottom of my shopping cart… A pool of white, forming on the floor, like a visitor unannounced at my door.

Jovial as usual, I joked with Bob, the cashier, “Well, no use crying over spilled milk!”

We both laughed as he called for help to wipe the floor.

And suddenly, I burst into tears. I stood there, weeping, taken aback by the randomness and intensity of the emotions I was experiencing.

“What the heck?” I thought. “Maybe I am just having a hard day…”

I tried to laugh it off, but I couldn’t stop crying.

Bob got out from behind his register, beckoning me to follow him. Sobbing and somewhat embarrassed, I walked behind him as he guided me to the flowers section of the store. Smiling, he gently waved at the colorful bouquets.

“Pick any flowers you want. It’s on me.” Stunned by his kindness, I mutely pointed at a bunch and began openly crying again.

I shuffled back to the checkout line, thanked him again for his kindness and generosity and left the store in a daze.

“Uh, what the heck just happened?” I thought to myself.

And then it hit me like a wave… Grief.

When Grief Barges In

Ah, Grief…

Like the milk from the carton, my grief had finally found a way out after all these years. Years of freefall from divorce, homelessness, physical assault, death of a stepparent, previous failed attempts at business, financial destitution, loss of friends and community from a cross-country move, initial denial of certification for a program I had invested several intense months of training to name a few…

All of these several traumatic events happened in quick succession, some occurring simultaneously — blow after blow, day after day. Research says any one of these traumatic life events would have been crippling and devastating to anyone and validly so. But I was a tough cookie, trained in mental toughness and emotional resilience, a gritty immigrant and die-hard idealist… (Or that’s what I told myself!) I had trained myself to be antifragile so pressure would make me stronger. I was used to hard times and I used my life as a lab to study and test skills for  “how to thrive in volatile, uncertain and chaotic times.”  “Courage is my jam, I’ve got this.” was my mantra. I knew the work. I did the work. I embodied the work.

So, in my mind, I was fine.

Uh huh…

I had my self-care systems and daily rituals in place: Meditation every morning? Check. Morning pages journaling? Check. Scriptures and Prayer? Check. Daily workout? Check. Night-time recapitulation and Gratitude journal? Check. Circle of friends and mentors? Check. Breathing techniques? Check.

Hmm…

So why the heck am I crying in the middle of Trader Joe’s?

It was as if Grief had grabbed me by the throat and body-slammed me to the floor.

And for several mornings that followed, I found it nearly impossible to get out of bed. Only thoughts of serving my kids and my clients got me through.

No, I couldn’t go on with life as usual. I would have to stop and face this unwelcome guest — who looked like she meant business and was going to stay a while.

Man!

—

Maybe you can relate? An unexpected death, losing that job, divorce, a close friendship ends abruptly… A failed launch. Rejection. A major illness. Not getting credit on a project you worked so hard for. Getting cut out of something you created or thought needed your presence. Maybe moving to another country or losing that contract. Getting demoted or passed over for a promotion. Or maybe with the current pandemic, you are experiencing many of these events at the same time.

You feel numb, blah, lost, sad…

The Grief Roller Coaster

We know about the stages of grief — Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. I also believe we should include Numbness in that list. Numbness: feeling nothing, or blah, or meh, or emotionally shut down.

Many of us expect those stages to be linear, predictable, and with a deadline — tied up with a nice pretty bow. But grief is not this way.

We know about the stages of grief — Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. I also believe we should include Numbness in that list. Numbness: feeling nothing, or blah, or meh, or emotionally shut down.

Many of us expect those stages to be linear, predictable, and with a deadline — tied up with a nice pretty bow. But grief is not this way. It is messy, frustrating, feels like a crazy roller-coaster ride without the thrills. It comes in waves, washing over you when you least expect, and often at the most inconvenient time.

Everyone says “get over it” but you can’t seem to snap out of it. Even worse, everyone else seems to move on with a quickness that triggers even more shame for you. You feel broken and find yourself wondering, like many of my clients, who have asked: “What is wrong with me? Why can’t I just snap out of it? I should be over it by now.”

Many of us expect and accept grief after the death of a loved one.

Indeed, grief appears more acceptable when there is a death. But most of us do not expect grief after life’s other losses, transitions, or failures. For some of us, grief can blindside us. And for outsiders looking in, grief in these circumstances can seem unacceptable, or even a sign of privilege, which leads to comparative suffering. “Hey, I lost a job. There are many who are starving in other countries. No one has time for my first-world problems.”

Wrong.

Suffering is suffering. Your body is going through similar physiological events as another person who is suffering. Your suffering should be addressed as such regardless of the source. (Tweet this.)

I liken it to having been in a car wreck. Trauma, failure, loss, and death are like car wrecks emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and sometimes even physically. You need the time, resources, space, and energy to recover.

Why You Must Ride the Grief

Grief is here to serve a purpose — to help you heal. The longer you avoid grieving, the longer it will take to heal. You prolong your healing when you avoid grief.

Many of us judge ourselves and feel shame for feeling sad or grieving and the depth and intensity of our grief. Grief shows that you deeply cared. Grief serves a purpose and can bring many benefits. It gives you the time and space and resources to heal. It brings the ability to empathize with others who are going through similar situations and you can be a source of comfort on the other side of your healing for others. It helps you honor what you have lost and the experience you had. It also brings some levels of closure

To serve its purpose, grief requires energy, time, space, resources, and attention. And you are worthy of it. To quote Charlie in his incredible book, Start Finishing, “anything that requires time, energy, or attention is a project.” So, grief is a project! You will need to make time and room for it. It’s like having several tabs open on your computer and the page you want is taking too long to load. Whether grief is addressed or not, it is using up time, energy, resources, and attention.  The question is, “Will you give grief what it is asking of you?”

Make Time and Room for Grief

After life’s upheavals, you have to give yourself the time and space to grieve. Many of us feel like we don’t have time to grieve. But life happens. Divorce, job loss, infidelity, death of a loved one happen to the best of us. Many of us expect to just pick up after a devastating event or a loss, and keep it moving. We stay busy, going from one activity to the next.

But grief will sneak up on you. If you don’t make time for grief, it will suddenly grab you and slam you to the ground and one day you will wonder why you can’t get out of bed — or find yourself crying in the middle of the grocery store.

Acknowledging the death of what you thought you had is the first step.

Grief can be tricky to navigate. With symptoms like crying, feeling really tired and unmotivated, and all kinds of emotional swings, it can take a lot of energy to grieve. Since grief can also be disruptive, many of us are not willing or able to make time for it. We have work to do, deadlines to meet, mouths to feed and many of us remain in survival mode. Doing what we have to do to make it through the day.

“I don’t have time to grieve.”

“If I look at the grief, I will fall apart and can’t get back up again.”

Grief can also be paralyzing and disorienting. Your brain feels like mush — what usually feels easy is now immensely difficult and you can’t even explain why. For me, the easiest essay topic suddenly triggers a writer’s block from hell. You find yourself crashing, missing deadlines left and right. Your life is a fog and you can’t find your way anywhere.

Even if you already have a journaling, meditation, and self-care practice in place, you will need some extra time focused solely on processing your grief. You are worthy of it.

What to Do When Grief Shows Up (Often Unexpectedly)

When grief pays you a visit, use these four steps as a starting place for experiencing your grief and all it brings:

1. Pause. It is tempting to continue life as usual, using busywork to distract us from facing ourselves. We numb ourselves with activity, food, shopping, work. Pause and pay attention to what you are thinking, saying, and doing. This is my favorite definition of mindfulness.
2. Get curious. Instead of ignoring, denying, distracting, escaping, stuffing, or subverting our emotions, getting curious about our emotions is critical. What are you feeling? Ask yourself the five questions from the next section to help guide you.
3. Check the story. Look out for shame. Pay attention to the story you are telling yourself especially during the bargaining phase of grief. The shame or “not___ enough” stories you tell yourself can set. The shame of grief can be devastating. “Maybe if I had lost those 20 pounds, he wouldn’t have filed for divorce.” “Maybe if I had talked to her more, she wouldn’t have died.”
4. Practice. We find ourselves struggling with deep feelings of loss, disorientation, and longing for something we can’t put a finger on. And we adopt all kinds of coping mechanisms, functional or dysfunctional, to get through it. Learning how to ride the waves of emotions takes time, practice, and patience.

Five Questions to Ponder During Your Grieving Process

These are five questions to consider when grieving (from the Rising Strong process by Dr. Brené Brown):

1. What have I lost? Grief brings a sense of loss. Feeling like we have lost something. What have you lost? Community? A relationship? Money? Stability? I have a client who lost a parent and she kept saying “I have lost my anchor.”
2. What am I longing for? With grief comes this feeling that floats to the surface — a subconscious longing for something you didn’t even know you had, such as connection or love. For me, grief brought this deep intense nostalgia, a desire for devotion and belonging. I wanted a holy sacred connection to a community that could never be lost and I found myself weeping often at the intensity of my longing.
3. In what way am I feeling lost? The disorientation of grief can be draining and exhausting and honestly, quite scary if you don’t know this is what is happening. Many of my clients report walking into a room and not knowing why they went there. After dropping my kids at their dad’s house, I would drive around the city in a daze for an hour, unsure of where I was going or what to do with the new “free time” I now had.
4. How am I coping with this grief? Are you staying busy with excessive work, hopping from one task to another? Numbing with food or alcohol, shopping, binge-watching TV? Serial dating? Hopping from one relationship to another? There are all coping mechanisms people use for grief. Pay attention to the ways you are dealing with your grief.
5. How can I grieve in a way that supports me? There are healthy and unhealthy ways to grieve. You want to grieve in a way that is aligned with your values and nurtures you. Grief sucks a lot of energy from you even when you are not making time for it. Practicing self-care is critical:
   • Physically — are you eating well, getting enough rest or sleep, moving your body, getting loving touch or massages?
   • Mentally — are you checking your mental dialogue and thinking thoughts, reading books that uplift you, talking to a therapist or coach?
   • Emotionally — are you journaling, practicing self-compassion?
   • Spiritually — are you praying or going to your place of worship if you practice a faith, hanging out with your community or friends, spending time in nature?

Tips for a Supportive Grieving Process

Here are some tips that helped me navigate my own grief, and I hope will help you as you process your own:

1. Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself like someone you love. Practice self-compassion.
2. Drop all non-essentials and prioritize your projects. Focus only on the essential. Guard your bandwidth.
3. Ask for what you need.
4. Practice grounding and self-care.
5. Set boundaries.
6. Embrace death.
7. Write a new story.
8. Give yourself permission to feel ALL the feels.
9. Comfort not numbing.
10. Tell your story.
11. Own up to the ways you are grieving that might not be serving you.
12. Be aware, be mindful, be present; not escaping.
13. Get help. Sometimes grief can be so thick that we need help navigating through it. Look for a grief support group, therapist, or coach.
14. Grieve on your own timeline, not others’. Grief has no timeline and you can’t rush through grief.
15. Be selective of your company. One of the surprises of grief is how isolating it can be. Having support is really important. But make sure you have real comforters not the “miserable comforters” like the friends of Job in the Christian Bible, who blame us for the mishaps in our lives and kick us when we are already down. Be discerning about who you share with during your grief.
16. Grieve your own way.
17. Be mindful of your consumption. With the recent pandemic, many are struggling with their news consumption on news sites and social media. This can be massively draining, depressing, and anxiety-provoking. Set limits to your time on these sites or take a media break altogether.
18. Forgive yourself. You will make mistakes and even hurt others as you navigate grief.
19. Give others grace. Others will make mistakes and even hurt you as they try to help or give you space thinking they are helping. Forgive them if you can.
20. Keep showing up. You are doing the best you can. Some days it’s a shuffle, other days it is a crawl, and sometimes showing up looks like taking a day off and resting. Keep showing up for yourself, however you can. Moment by moment, breath by breath.

Life happens. When we least expect, the sky falls. Also, as we go for what we want, we will sometimes fail, lose, fall, or get hurt. And sometimes just being alive means we are going to experience the death of a loved one, job loss, a major illness, or heartbreak. Grief is an unwieldy yet essential part of life. Yet many of us find it difficult to process or even acknowledge it. We get to choose whether we grieve well, or let grief body-slam us to the floor, disrupting our lives completely.

Grieving well is an essential part of rising strong from life’s transitions, failures, falls, and losses. Will it be hard? Yes. Will it be worth it? Absolutely. Your path is your own and by allowing grief to do her work, you can begin the path to healing and rising strong again.

—

Learn more about the Rising Strong process for rising from life’s falls, failures, and losses in Yvonne’s upcoming 8-week virtual workshop  Rising Strong starting January 2022— the full curriculum from Brene Brown’s research and book. Gather in community and learn the skills for rising strong together.